[NYPOST] A naked Florida woman with a long rap sheet allegedly threatened to kill convenience store workers with a vegetable peeler — then drunkenly masturbated in front of responding deputies.She sounds like a fun date.
Self-motivated is a good thing
Celia Barrett, 35, went to the RaceTrac at 2551 54th Ave. in St Petersburg on Sunday evening after downing about six shots of liquor and waved a "sharp-edged peeler-corer," Fox 35 Orlando reported, citing an affidavit.
... and then, when I brought her home to meet Mom...
She complained about having been previously trespassed from the gas station and began to bang the veggie tool on the counter as she hurled obscenities at the cashier, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.
I hate it when women do that. My mother never banged a veggie tool in her life!
Barrett also threatened the general manager with the peeler-corer, which she waved in a threatening manner as if she was going to stab him, according to the affidavit.
"I'm gonna peel and core you!"
"Spare me!"
She yelled that she was "going to kill him" before putting the weapon down and walking away.
"I'll murderlize youse, general!"
The unhinged woman then allegedly took out her frustrations on a display of about 50 Red Bull drinks, which she toppled, and tore open a carton of cigarettes in her fit of fury.
"Outta my way, Red Bullz!"When police arrived, she was still out of control and allegedly gave them an X-rated show.
"Hey! You can't do that!"
"I'm doing it! Watch me!"
"I am!"
“Prior to being taken into custody [Barrett] began masturbating in front of deputies,” a deputy reported, according to The Smoking Gun, which cited the affidavit.
"Cheeze! Lookit the size of that thing!"
"Those are some major callouses!"
"Stop it! You're scaring the K9!"
"It's okay, Otto! You can come out from under there now! Here boy!... Now look what you've done! Poor Otto!"
Her lengthy rap sheet includes convictions for battery, prostitution, criminal mischief and narcotics possession, according to the outlet.
Wotta surprise.