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Home Front: Politix
Democrats Scramble To Find Replacement For Retiring Mitt Romney
2023-09-14
[Bee] Pierre Delecto au revoir
The Democratic Party was left scrambling for a replacement today, as long-time faithful Senator Mitt Romney of Utah announced he would not be seeking re-election.
The man consistently on the wrong side of the average American.
"This is a huge blow for the Democratic Party," said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. "Romney has been one of our most reliable senators. He will be sorely missed."

Democrats have immediately begun searching for a replacement candidate, concerned that conservatives in Utah could flip the seat Republican. "Romney being able to carry Utah for the Democrats was an unbelievable windfall for the party," said analyst Chuck Todd. "It will be incredibly difficult to find another candidate who can win in such a deep red state while completely and utterly turning his back on the Republican party. It's like finding a unicorn."

According to sources in the Romney camp, the Senator plans to retire to the plains of Namibia to spend more time with his fellow rhinoceros family.
Posted by:Frank G

#8  Damn. The Babylon Bee is really really good.

To be fair, Romney was supportive of Trump's economic program and was also very supportive of controlling immigration - he even tried to get the border wall started back in 2017 when Trump was wasting time trying to substitute a half baked plan for health care.

He was very put off by Trump personally. They clearly disliked each other.
Posted by: lord garth    2023-09-14 19:43  

#7  'Oh yeah for the right price I might be open to an impeachment hearing; now if you excuse me, just gonna cut right through here to the door.'

Guess it would be a bit awkward to be up there listening to testimony and consequences of operating a private e-mail covering public affairs.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2023-09-14 12:52  

#6  What’s to stop him from coming out of the closet as a Dem at this point?

He'd never get elected from Utah that way. He'd have to move back to Massachusetts or California. Maybe he could run for Feinstein's seat.
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2023-09-14 12:43  

#5  He had charisma at 1 point? Guess I learnt something today.
Posted by: Chris   2023-09-14 10:07  

#4  The big problem is this will give Mike Lee breathing space to move left, RINO that he is.
Posted by: M. Murcek   2023-09-14 08:14  

#3  Jumping on the Anti-MAGA train is he? How surprising.
Posted by: Besoeker   2023-09-14 08:12  

#2  What’s to stop him from coming out of the closet as a Dem at this point?
Posted by: Super Hose   2023-09-14 08:12  

#1  Guess Mitt found out he'd used up all his charisma based upon the latest poll numbers.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2023-09-14 08:11  

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