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| Lace panties for the Armed Forces of Ukraine: the real results of the NATO summit |
| 2023-07-15 |
| Direct Translation via Google Translate. Edited. by Kirill Strelnikov [RIA] If the organizers of the NATO get-together in Vilnius set themselves the task of achieving "historic" results, then they succeeded: the current summit of the North Atlantic Alliance set records for the skyrocketing level of hypocrisy, schizophrenia and absurdity. Long before the summit, an unprecedented information campaign began to announce "fateful decisions" that should "radically change", "break", "ensure" - and all that sort of thing. Smiling mysteriously and waving his hands over a magician's hat, NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg promised at press conferences leading up to the summit that Ukraine would be given a "strong signal" about membership in the bloc. Inspired by the kicks, the ukrovoiska with tenfold strength rushed to kill themselves against the orders of the Russian troops, diligently fertilizing the fields of Zaporozhye with thousands of bodies a day, demonstrating true NATO training and character. And the historic day has come. A bewitched Ukrainian-Western audience is glued to the screens, waiting for a great miracle: the transformation of the once-promised EU lace panties into NATO armored panties. To the sounds of trumpets, the President of Lithuania personally raised the yellow-blaky flag of Independence Square on a circus pole, giving a strong signal into space. In a single, monolithic formation, the heads of the NATO countries embarked on a fateful meeting. Flashes snapped, drum rolls were heard, nervous ladies from the NATO secretariat began to faint... And then there was a loud bang. The NATO Secretary General went up to the microphone and read from a piece of paper that the alliance had already taken "three steps towards Ukraine." First, it was decided not to require Ukraine to implement an "action plan" for membership in NATO. Secondly, a multi-year program of military assistance to Ukraine has been approved. Thirdly, the creation of the Ukraine-NATO Council was approved, in which "Ukraine and the NATO countries will be equal partners." And when bewildered questions began to be heard from the audience about the specific terms and conditions for Ukraine's entry into NATO, Mr. Stoltenberg grinned paternally and said: "I told you: we can invite Ukraine to join the alliance when the allies agree and the conditions are met." Here's how right away, right there and then. Honestly. Further, the audience was told that there would be no kin, Ukraine is closer to NATO than ever, and many thanks to everyone. Of course, the under-president of the under-country Zelensky was furious. First, everything was decided in advance and behind his back. Secondly, in vain, perhaps, did the VEU troops burn so colorfully, advertising advanced Western technology for free on the eve of the summit? He was also promised that Ukraine would be guaranteed and automatically become a member of NATO immediately after the end of the war. Or at least she will be handed an official invitation to the alliance on a silver platter. The mini-dictator was so furious that he even dared to tweet his "fi": "Unprecedented and absurd - when (in the decision of the NATO summit) there is no time frame for either the invitation (!), nor for the membership of Ukraine; and when instead it is added some strange wording about "conditions" even for inviting Ukraine." Next to him, Foreign Minister Kuleba began to bounce to the beat: “The decision frankly upset us. <…> We are categorically not satisfied with this approach. <…> That is, when the conditions are met? What are the conditions? Who should formulate them? What are they ?" Then, when there was no one around, Zelensky was explained that he should be grateful to the grave for everything in general, but for now, you need to carefully read the piece of paper, where it is written in clear NATO language what needs to be done, namely: "The Allies will continue to support and analyze Ukraine's progress in the area of ​​interoperability, as well as the necessary additional democratic and security reforms." In the meantime, go fight to the last Ukrainian or to victory, otherwise we will put virtual Zaluzhny or Budanov in your place. The beaming President of the European Commission Ursula von der Leyen tried to console Zelensky and secretly said that if it doesn’t work out with NATO, then with the EU it will definitely work out: “The speed with which Ukraine is striving for EU membership <...> is wonderful, impressive. It's an achievement-based process and we're seeing the enthusiasm and intensity with which Ukraine is pursuing reforms and rapidly moving towards EU membership. I firmly believe that if they continue like this, they will soon succeed." However, Zelensky, apparently, could not be consoled. According to rumors, he canceled a planned televised address to the nation, where he planned to talk about the great victory, and now sits on powdered antidepressants. In other words, in short, the cardboard mountain of the NATO summit in Vilnius predictably gave birth to a dead mouse. No temporary prospects for Ukraine's admission to the alliance were named. NATO members have been promising membership to the Independent since 2008 and continue to do so with glamor. Kiev was clearly told that as long as the conflict continues, no entry into the alliance is possible. Even purely theoretically, it can happen when Ukraine fulfills all the conditions (one of them - to put an end to corruption - is impossible in principle) and when all the countries of the alliance unanimously approve this decision (and the probability of this tends to zero, because the number of bastards is off scale there, but no suicides. But the opinion according to which there is a 100% consensus in NATO was expressed by National Security Adviser to the US President Jake Sullivan : “Why was NATO, including the United States, each of the 31 members, not ready to accept Ukraine into NATO at this summit? The reason is clear. If If Ukraine were accepted into NATO today, it would mean that NATO would be at war with Russia." In other words, NATO countries will never die for Ukraine, and Ukraine must die for NATO itself. True, it may turn out that by the end of the conflict in Ukraine there will be no one to distribute lace panties, but new ones can always be found. |
| Posted by:badanov |