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| China-Japan-Koreas |
| China Threatens to Retaliate by sending Pelosi back to the US |
| 2022-08-02 |
| The Onion BEIJING; Warning the United States that the House Speaker would be spared, China reportedly threatened to retaliate Thursday for Nancy Pelosi's trip to Taiwan by letting her return safely. "Should Nancy Pelosi follow through with her planned trip to Taiwan, China will be forced to take the hostile measure to weaken America by allowing her to return unscathed," said President Xi Jinping, warning that any move by Pelosi to legitimize the Taiwanese regime would be met with a first class ticket back so that she is well-rested and ready to return to legislative matters. "The folly of America's intransigence on China's territorial claims will be be made clear when Ms. Pelosi is permitted to set foot back on U.S. soil and continue to shape national policy. We have the entire might of the Chinese military standing by ready to defend Ms. Pelosi from any possible threat." At press time, Chinese leadership was tested in their resolve to keep Pelosi alive after hearing her speak. Related: The Onion: 2022-07-20 Democratics Worried that Biden is Healthy The Onion: 2022-06-27 Atbashian's Shakedown Socialism: Unions, Pitchforks, Collective Greed, The Fallacy of Economic Equality, and other Optical Illusions of ‘Redistributive Justice’ The Onion: 2021-06-16 Expensive NYC School insults white women |
| Posted by:Lord Garth |
| #5 Leaving aside what exactly is the end game of this ridiculous stunt, what is the threat here? They're going to do something to and/or keep Pelosi? OK, but what about that threat. If all we have to do to get rid of this parasitic class is to send them to Taipei, it's 'Mr Musk to the damned courtesy phone immediately, not only is it an emergency but we have a solution.' This sort of crap couldn't happen in a literate society, you know, The Ransom of Red Chief and all. |
| Posted by: Cesare 2022-08-02 13:47 |
| #4 No, not _every_ lie. The Party is not a monolith. Those losing internal struggles will lose their protection. |
| Posted by: James 2022-08-02 13:11 |
| #3 ^ A sign the pendulum is starting to swing. Watch for the "fact checkers" to stop papering over every lie the dems tell. It won't happen in an avalanche, but it will happen. |
| Posted by: M. Murcek 2022-08-02 10:29 |
| #2 The Onion is starting to sound like the Bee. |
| Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839 2022-08-02 10:27 |
| #1 So many truths within the sarcasm. 😉 |
| Posted by: Dron66046 2022-08-02 03:17 |