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Death Toll Rises: Man Dies Of Heart Attack Year-And-A-Half After Eating Corndog At January 6 Riot |
2022-06-14 |
[Babylon Bee] U.S.—The death toll is continuing to rise in connection with the devastating January 6th riots, as one of the attendees has died of a heart attack a year-and-a-half after he was pictured eating a corndog there. "Over a year after this horrific attack on our holy democracy, the catastrophic death toll continues to rise," said Congressman Adam Schiff. "The death of Bob Billings of a massive heart attack after eating one of the artery-clogging corndogs sold at the Capitol Riot again reminds us of how deadly and dark this dark-deadly day was. That must be, like, a thousand dead now. Those of us still here are lucky to be alive." Congress is investigating more charges that can be brought against Trump in connection with Billings' death, in addition to the other casualties—such as those who got in car accidents on the way home from the rally, those who died of January 6th-connected myocarditis, and those who died of heartbreak due to Biden being inaugurated. "It may be many years before we really know the true death toll of January 6th, but you can be sure we will continue to talk about it until it no longer effectively raises campaign funds for us," said Schiff. At publishing time, Congress announced the additional January 6th death of a protestor who claimed to have dirt on Hillary Clinton. |
Posted by:Besoeker |
#4 At the County Museum of Art I smelled tar, and a dinosaur fart, And then something stronger That lingered much longer, A "Do you feel lucky?" dog cart. |
Posted by: Kofi Snomogum8216 2022-06-14 17:48 |
#3 Honestly this made me think it was "too good to be true". |
Posted by: magpie 2022-06-14 16:56 |
#2 Not to be confused with danger dogs... |
Posted by: M. Murcek 2022-06-14 10:09 |
#1 Now...I've had some bad corn dogs. |
Posted by: Skidmark 2022-06-14 09:57 |