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-Great Cultural Revolution
Chris Rock Smooths Things Over With Will Smith By Sleeping With His Wife
2022-03-30
[Babylon Bee] In a show of penitence for the insensitive joke told during the Oscars, Chris Rock offered to smooth things over with Will Smith by sleeping with his wife.

"My client feels incredible remorse for the violently inconsiderate jab aimed at Jada Pinkett Smith’s debilitating medical condition," said Rock’s publicist, "As such, Chris generously proposes making amends by making love."

Friends of the Smiths expressed surprise that Will’s initial reaction was to reject the comedian’s coital olive branch, knowing the cuckold really had no say in the matter. However, after learning he was at risk of losing his precious Oscar award, Smith expressed full support for the peace offering, again mistakenly assuming his decision would in any way influence his wife’s escapades.

Jada Pinkett Smith expressed overwhelming support for the comedian’s generous offer to reconcile and make things right and promised to pen him into her busy schedule of sleeping with other men
Posted by:Frank G

#13  ^ EXCLUSIVE: Bruce Willis, 67, is seen using an earpiece prompter on American Siege movie set 'having suffered cognitive issues and problems with his lines since 2020': Die Hard star 'steps back from acting' after revealing aphasia brain disorder diagnosis
Posted by: Skidmark   2022-03-30 20:40  

#12  “ A 52yo male developed sudden-onset reading difficulty and aphasia 7d after the second dose of an mRNA-based SARS-CoV-2 vaccine”
Posted by: Papa Cooky   2022-03-30 17:42  

#11  Smith should have been attested and drug tested. My guess is he was coked up like many of the other attendees.
Posted by: Besoeker   2022-03-30 15:17  

#10  Was Alec Baldwin invited to the Oscars this year? They were lucky that all they got was a slap this year.
Posted by: ruprecht   2022-03-30 14:56  

#9  ^ Me too. The Die Hards, Lucky Number Slevin, Fifth Element... even some of the later ones were good. Looper was great.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-03-30 13:04  

#8  Just heard Bruce Willis has Aphasia and will retire from acting. Too bad, I always enjoyed his movies
Posted by: Frank G   2022-03-30 12:47  

#7  ^ There's always next year. 😁
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-03-30 12:05  

#6  Why can't Tom Cruise die?
Posted by: Chris   2022-03-30 12:00  

#5  Me, I want better quality of events at the Oscars.

I want Sean 'p' Diddy whatsit to gun down George Clooney accidentally while aiming sideways at Ice Cube. I want Wesley Snipes to rush at the Rock with a machete and get smacked into a coma. I want vin deisel to be attacked by Chris Tucker on PCP and Jordan Peele to be hit by a stray bullet meant for Tom Cruise. I want Priyanka Chopra's dress to be torn and her face clawed out by Tessa Thompson. Gimme an Oscar night to remember. Gimme the truth.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-03-30 10:55  

#4  Slapstick: 1 a device made of two flat pieces of wood fastened at one end so as to make a loud noise when used by an actor to strike a person

2 a style of humour involving exaggerated physical activity that exceeds the boundaries of normal physical comedy. Slapstick may involve both intentional violence and violence by mishap, often resulting from inept use of props (cf. "slap stick", above)
Posted by: Lonzo Gray6025   2022-03-30 10:15  

#3  They both need to be smacked.
Posted by: JohnQC   2022-03-30 09:56  

#2  The “slap” was fake.
Posted by: Xyz   2022-03-30 07:37  

#1  
[Will Smith storms into Babylon Bee office]
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-03-30 07:07  

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