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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Atomic City News - Active shooter threat reported at Hanford, workers gummit employees advised to duck and cover
2022-03-02
[YAKTRI News] RICHLAND, Wash. — Employees, and security at the Hanford reservation are on high alert over reports of a possible active shooter in the East building near the center of the site.
At least someone at Hanford is "active."
A representative from the U.S. Dept. of Energy confirmed the investigation is active, and that employees are currently in lockdown.

As of Noon on March 1, Hanford Patrol has not found any evidence of shots fired in their facility. Still, personnel from building 2750 E have been evacuated out of an abundance of caution as the search continues.

An emergency text message alert issued to employees at the site was obtained by KAPP KVEW. It reads as follows:

HANFORD SECURITY INCIDENT INFORMATION: Active Assailant at 2750E in 200 East Area. Affected employees prepare to run fight hide. Employees in nearby buildings are to lockdown and prepare to run fight hide. All others stay away.
Caution: Do not hide in vats of bubbling goo.
Search teams are investigating buildings where the reports were sourced. At the time of this publishing, no injuries or fatalities have been confirmed.

Law enforcement agencies from across the Tri-Cities region are responding to assist with this critical incident.
Pasco PD arrives on burros.
Established as part of the Manhattan Project in the 1940s, the Hanford Site produced the plutonium used in the atomic bomb dropped in Japan during World War II. Currently, it’s home to one of the world’s largest nuclear cleanup efforts.
A mess that can never really be cleaned up.
This is a breaking news story. An update and/or follow-up will be issued as further details are revealed.

  • Employees heard a loud bang
  • Hanford Patrol, RPD, BCSO, FBI, DOE searched the facility and found no evidence of a gun
    Three eyed fish farting near the bank of the Columbia River is now suspected.
  • Posted by:Besoeker

    #9  Celebrating LENT with fireworks?
    Posted by: Thrinenter Thavimble8175   2022-03-02 13:46  

    #8  No worries. Yellowstone mega-volcano will vitrify it all in one pop, and leave a nifty, easy to spot line of demarcation behind.
    Posted by: M. Murcek   2022-03-02 11:03  

    #7  ^ Yucca Mtn. And accused pederast Hairy Reid was one that stopped it for politics
    Posted by: Frank G   2022-03-02 10:58  

    #6  The contaminants were supposed to be solidified and shipped to Yuka Mountain for storage. That plan went South a few years ago due to NIMBY efforts.
    Posted by: Besoeker   2022-03-02 10:51  

    #5  Later is the key. As in 75 or more years in many cases.
    Posted by: M. Murcek   2022-03-02 10:16  

    #4  A mess that can never really be cleaned up.

    We'll get to it later when we have more time. Just put it in the back storeroom where we keep the buckets of oily rags.
    Posted by: SteveS   2022-03-02 10:12  

    #3  Really big place. Mostly empty. Still, an operating commercial nuke plant at one end, a lot of decommissioned nuke sub reactors in a big hole in the middle and clean-up contractors scattered about. The area in question and what goes on there.
    Posted by: M. Murcek   2022-03-02 10:08  

    #2  Winds in the area are light and variable in direction.
    Posted by: Glenmore   2022-03-02 10:06  

    #1  Employees heard a loud bang

    Hopefully not from a barrel of bubbling goo exploding...
    Posted by: Glenmore   2022-03-02 10:01  

    00:00