Submit your comments on this article |
-Short Attention Span Theater- |
Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout |
2021-06-17 |
[Babylon Bee] In a move to make purchasing congresspeople easier and faster for lobbyists, Congress voted to approve a new measure that calls for congresspeople to wear barcodes on their foreheads so lobbyists, activists, and corporations can simply scan them and self-checkout. Self-checkout machines will be installed at all exits of the Capitol Building, so once they've added congresspeople to their cart, lobbyists can pay right on the way out. "Purchasing congresspeople used to be a time-consuming, expensive process," said a Planned Parenthood representative. "Now, we can simply walk through Congress, scan all the congresspeople that are for sale, and checkout without having to interact with any humans." "We hate humans---like, a lot," the PP rep added. |
Posted by:Grinesing Unating7534 |
#2 Noi kidding. Real congresscritters have RFID's shoved up their ass for easy scanning. Where do you think that Amazon cashier-less checkout tech came from? |
Posted by: CrazyFool 2021-06-17 09:37 |
#1 Too easy. Up $1 |
Posted by: Caesar Glavimble6152 2021-06-17 08:49 |