Listen up, maggots - I expect only the best, highest level snark for this asshole.
...aaaand - begin!
[Zero Hedge] - Journalist (good one! - ed) Jeffrey Toobin, who was suspended by CNN and fired from The New Yorker after he was caught stretching his baloney whacking his pud masturbating on a zoom call last October in full view of colleagues, has been allowed back into the fold at the failing cable news network following a six-month period of 'reflection and growth.'
It got bigger?
 Hilariously, he had to sit there as CNN host Alisyn Camerota rang the shame bell behind him - then explain his side of it.
"...you were caught jerking off doing the Onan masturbating, on camera. You were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working [at the New Yorker], and you since then have been on leave from CNN," said Camerota, adding "What the hell were you thinking?"
| He wasn’t thinking — it was all about the feelz. Literally. Ick. |
"I was thinking, man is this going to be good..."
Toobin acknowledged that he had been "deeply moronic," and his actions were "indefensible," adding that he's spent the last seven "miserable months" trying to be a better person, "in therapy, trying to do some public service, working at a food bank, working on a new book..."
| In his case, the difference between mental masturbation and the regular kind is profoundly unclear. |
Good to know what it takes to compel Toobin to engage in charitable acts. We can only hope he washed his hands before dealing with people's food. |