[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Nancy Pelosi has announced a new creative fundraiser for Dems in 2020: auctioning off limited-edition replicas of the dentures she wore during Trump's impeachment.The dentures have Pelosi's signature emblazoned in gold across the gums. Only 300 sets were made, so you'll need to jump on this opportunity to get this coveted souvenir from Trump's somber impeachment ceremony.
The bidding starts at $1,000.00 per pair, with all proceeds going to help Dems campaign on impeachment. Excited Democrats began bidding on the dentures, driving the price up into the tens of thousands of dollars immediately.
"This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get a historic relic from this somber, very serious impeachment trial," Pelosi said in a speech, pulling back her lips to show the emblazoning on her official, original pair of historic dentures. "The plating on the signatures are authentic, 24K gold." You can even customize your dentures with "bling" like gold or silver teeth with messages like "ORANGE MAN BAD" or "IMPEACH 45."
The Speaker of the House also said that if you act fast, you'll get a collector's edition plate and coin absolutely free. You're also able to "buy it now" with financing options of just 30% of your income for the rest of your life.
Pelosi is also auctioning off a limited number of empty vodka bottles, the contents of which were consumed during the impeachment proceedings.