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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Pope Francis Mourns Excess Carbon Emissions Given Off By Notre Dame Fire
2019-04-20
[Babylon Bee] VATICAN CITY‐Pope Francis has called for a time of mourning within the Catholic Church after the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris burned earlier this week.

The period of mourning is said to be a time of weeping for the extra carbon dioxide emissions let off into the air from the fires.

"It is so tragic to see this beautiful, 900-year-old building go up in smoke---smoke that will continue to change our climate, the most pressing spiritual issue for the church today," Francis said. "As I saw the flames leap upward toward the sky, all I could think of was the bleak future we are contributing toward as our kids only have a decade left on this planet."

"Hail Mary, full of grace. Please cool our planet," he then muttered in a heartfelt prayer.

Pope Francis has encouraged Catholics to purchase indulgences to help rebuild the building and buy carbon credits to offset the damage to the climate the fire caused.

"Whenever a carbon credit purchase rings, another soul from purgatory springs," he said.
Posted by:Besoeker

#5  Somebody's got to pickup the slack with the demise ov World Weekly News
Posted by: Cheaderhead   2019-04-20 16:37  

#4  Just when you think that the Babylon Bee can't get any funnier...
Posted by: Tom   2019-04-20 14:13  

#3  Came across this the other day, didn't get around to posting it.

I had to double-check I was at Babylon Bee, and still wasn't sure. Just brutal.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2019-04-20 12:36  

#2  I thought the same thing Raj.
Posted by: warthogswife   2019-04-20 10:49  

#1  Funny - my initial guess was not satire. Am I turning into you-know-who?
Posted by: Raj   2019-04-20 07:09  

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