[Babylon Bee] UNDISCLOSED‐According to a US special ops team in an undisclosed location, a feminist activist and blogger endangered their team's mission by popping up out of nowhere to lecture them on the gender balance of their squad.The team leader later claimed that "this crazy lady" jumped out at them and began to scold them for their lack of gender balance.
"Excuse me, are there any women in your squad?" she said, frightening the officer, who nearly put a round into her right there.
"Wha---who are you?" he responded. "You scared the crap out of me. You really shouldn't be here.
"Just what I thought," she said, shaking her head. "You're against me being here because I'm a powerful womyn, and that somehow threatens your white male existence."
"Lady, I'm just following orders. Can you move aside so we can finish our mission here?" he said as the squad proceeded to the target location, according to a mission log.
The men of the elite special ops team then offered to carry her out of the dangerous combat zone, but instead received a lecture on how women are just as capable as men and how she didn't need to be carried like some piece of property.
At publishing time, the woman had been captured by enemy forces but was quickly set free after she annoyingly lectured the terrorists for several hours on the gender balance of their terror cell.
