[SEATTLETIMES] A Horizon Air worker took off Friday night in one of the airline’s Q400 turboprops at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport and crashed on an island in south Puget Sound after being coaxed by air-traffic control to try to land and trailed by two fighter jets, officials said."Can you fly a plane, Rich?"
"I dunno. I never tried."
The plane was taken by a 29-year-old Sumner man about 8 p.m. and crashed on Ketron Island, near Steilacoom, about 90 minutes later, according to the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. No passengers or crew appeared to be aboard the 76-seat plane.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the mechanic speaking. I''m going to take her up and do some loop de loops, so either fasten yer seatbelts or bail now!"
The Sheriff’s Department said it was “not a terrorist incident.” The plane crashed either while the man was doing stunts or because of a lack of flying skills, according to the Sheriff’s Department.
Or both. You be de judge.“A joyride gone terribly wrong,” Pierce County Sheriff Paul Pastor said during a news conference in Steilacoom, which is about 3 miles from the island.
Joy rides often do.
No injuries were reported on the ground, Pastor said, as the plane crashed and started an intense fire on the wooded, 230-acre island, which has a population of 20. He said it appeared the man who took the plane died.
Whatcha got there, Herb? Strawberry jam?
Pilot, I think.
That his lung?
I think so.
Didn't smoke, did he?
"Not tobacco, he didn't."
Horizon Air COO Constance von Muehlen said in a late-night video that “our hearts are with the family of the individual onboard as well as all our Alaska Air and Horizon Air employees.”
What's she gonna say? "Great job?"
On a live air-traffic control feed, the person flying the plane could be heard talking with an air-traffic controller who addressed him as Rich and Richard. Rich seemed excited as he spoke, though also carefree and wild.
"Whoo hoo! I got this baby in the air!"
"Now y'gotta get it back on the ground, Rich! Landing's always the hard part!"
At one point he explained he had put some gas in the plane “to go check out the Olympics… and uh, yeah.” Stuff like this is why they used to give drug tests.
Later, he began to worry about his fuel. “I’m down to 2,100 (pounds),” he told the ATC. “I started at 30 something. … I don’t know what the burnage is like on takeoff, but it burned quite a bit faster than I expected.”
One gallon of jet fuel at 60 degrees Fahrenheit = 6.7 pounds. 3000 pounds of jet fuel = 447.75 gallons. Jet A costs about $5.71 a gallon, meaning Rich would have had $2556.72 coming out of his pay check for this little jaunt.
The air-traffic controller responded calmly, seeming not to want to upset Rich as the conversation continued and he tried to coax Rich into landing somewhere. “There is the runway just off to your right side in about a mile,” the controller told him. “That’s McChord” (meaning the military airfield at Joint Base Lewis-McChord).
"Unidentified aircraft! Stop immediately and state your business! I repeat: Stop or we'll shoot!"
“Oh man,” Rich immediately responded, “Those guys will rough me up if I try and land there. I think I might mess something up there too. I wouldn’t want to do that. They probably have anti-aircraft.”
"I'm so confused! Who're you? Where am I? Are you from Noo Joisey? I'm from Noo Joisey!""Captain! I think he's losing it!"
"Not on my runway, he's not! It's just been washed! You in the aircraft! This is Captain Vader! [Dum dum dum de dum!] Stop the plane and come out with yore hands up!"
“They don’t have any of that stuff,” the air-traffic controller said.
"I sense a lack of faith!" [Dum dum dum de dum!]"
"Gug gug gug gug!"
“We’re just trying to find a place for you to land safely.”
"What'd he mean when he said 'Stop the plane?'"
“I’m not quite ready to bring it down just yet,” Rich said. “But holy smokes, I got to stop looking at the fuel, because it’s going down quick.”
"If I don't look at it, it don't burn, right?"
“Could you start a left turn and we’ll take you down to the SE, please,” the air-traffic controller then asked.
"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?""There are rebel aircraft approaching the area!"
[Single sideband:] "Red Leader One, enemy aircraft at 3110, doing barrel rolls!"
[Single sideband:] "Blue Leader One, I'm on him!... Almost there!... Almost there?... Almost there... [KABOOM!]"
[Single sideband:] "Red Leader Two, Again?"
“This is probably jail time for life, huh?” said Rich. “I would hope it is for a guy like me.”
"Don't worry about it! It's only $2556.72 for the jet fuel. And $32.2 million for the plane..."
At another point, Rich said, “I’ve got a lot of people that care about me. It’s going to disappoint them to hear that I did this. I would like to apologize to each and every one of them. Just a broken guy, got a few screws loose, I guess. Never really knew it, until now.”
"Do you know where the parachute is on this thing?... A sign! I see a sign!"
"What's it say, Rich?"
"Area 52. Do not enter under penalty of... I can't make it out!"
"You're not low enough!"
An exchange between Rich and the controller not long before the plane crashed, perhaps the final exchange, was recorded by Aviation journalist Jon Ostrower at 8:47 p.m. and posted to his Air Current website. “I feel like one of my engines is going out or something,” Rich says."Why do you think that?"
"It's not moving!"
“OK, Rich,” the controller responded. “If you could, you just want to keep that plane right over the water. Keep the aircraft nice and low.”
"Not that low... Oh, the hell with it!"