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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Opossum breaks into Florida liquor store, gets drunk
2017-12-04
[CBSNEWS] FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. -- An opossum that apparently drank bourbon after breaking into a Florida liquor store sobered up at a wildlife rescue center and was released unharmed.

Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge officials say the opossum was brought in by a Fort Walton Beach, Florida, police officer on Nov. 24. A liquor store employee found the animal next to a broken and empty bottle of bourbon.

"A worker there found the opossum up on a shelf next to a cracked open bottle of liquor with nothing in it," said Michelle Pettis, a technician at the refuge. "She definitely wasn't fully acting normal."

Pettis told the Northwest Florida Daily News the female opossum appeared disoriented, was excessively salivating and was pale. The staff pumped the marsupial full of fluids and cared for her as she sobered up.

"We loaded her up with fluids to help flush out any alcohol toxins," Pettis said. "She was good a couple of days later."

Pettis says the opossum did not appear to have a hangover.

The store owner, Cash Moore, says he never had an opossum break in before.

"She came in from the outside and was up in the rafters, and when she came through she knocked a bottle of liquor off the shelf," Moore said. "When she got down on the floor she drank the whole damn bottle."
Posted by:Fred

#6  LOL Steve
Posted by: Shipman   2017-12-04 12:33  

#5  "I swear they groped me while I was unable to consent"
Posted by: Procopius2k   2017-12-04 10:56  

#4  Maybe she should switch to a pinot grigio--it is light and refreshing--kind of a girlie wine--stay away from the hard stuff.
Posted by: JohnQC   2017-12-04 10:08  

#3  She was just playing.
Posted by: Skidmark   2017-12-04 09:06  

#2  "... she drank the whole damn bottle."

Cop, "Please step out of the car."

Driver, "I'm too drunk, you get in."
Posted by: Hupeting Sforza8196   2017-12-04 05:31  

#1  I see the beginnings of a glorious ad campaign:

"I don't often drink, but when I do, I drink bourbon."
-- The World's Most Interesting Marsupial
Posted by: SteveS   2017-12-04 00:25  

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