[SCMP] An Indian woman cut off a man’s penis after he allegedly tried to rape her at her house in the southern state of Kerala, police said on Saturday."Aaaiiieee! I am unmanned!"
The 23-year-old law student was at her residence in the state capital Thiruvananthapuram late on Friday when she says she was attacked by the 54-year-old man, who had claimed to her family to be a religious guru.
"Hello! I am a renowned holy man!"
"Well, step right in!"
"Hrarrr! C'mere, Cutie Pie!"
"She used a knife in her defence and cut off his penis," district police chief G Sparjan Kumar said by phone. "The man, Hari Swami, was rushed to the nearby government hospital in a serious state."
Other than being dead, there isn't a state much more serious than having you crank sliced off.
The local media reported that Swami was in a stable condition after undergoing emergency medical procedures at the local hospital.
"Uh... What happened to me?"
"I got good news and bad news, Swami. The good news is that you ain't got Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever."
"What's the bad news?"
The woman claimed the man had been assaulting her for several years, according to Kumar, who said police had started the paperwork but haven't done much else against Swami for sexual offences against a minor and rape.
"How about this one, chief? 'Section 432, assault with a dead weapon?'"
Police said the girl’s parents, who live at the same house, were unaware of the assaults by Swami.