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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Pubic Enemy Number One |
| 2015-01-13 |
| According to a startled Florida Highway Patrol trooper, Megan Barnes was shaving her bikini area while driving south on the famed Overseas Highway when she crashed into the rear of an SUV March 2. You know you're not supposed to do that. 'If I Wasn't There, I Wouldn't Have Believed It' I once saw a woman pleasuring herself while driving. It was in Birmingahm, Alabama. She didn't rear-end anyone though. I saw what you did there... In the police report obtained by ABC News, the trim job was apparently essential because the arresting officer, trooper Gary Dunick, said the Indiana native told him she was heading to Key West to visit her boyfriend. Lucky guy. "She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Dunick told the Key West Citizen. It gets weirder. How could it get weirder? In order to pay full attention to her sensitive regions, police say Barnes enlisted her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding shotgun, to hold the wheel. Yes, her ex-husband. OK, that's weirder. Their tag-team driving went awry when an SUV driving in front of them slowed to turn. Barnes' 1995 Thunderbird smashed into it. Two of the SUV's passengers suffered minor injuries, police say. Barnes shouldn't have been driving that Thunderbird, since she had been convicted the previous day for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. According to the arrest report, it was the sixth time her license had been suspended. Some people never learn. So she was shaving while intoxicated? After the accident, Barnes and Judy drove off, police say. The Thunderbird limped a few hundred yards before the couple switched seats. "She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick told the Citizen. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?'" Isn't Hu in the UN now? But the attempt to claim that Judy, not Barnes, was driving was also doomed. Judy had visible burns on his chest he claimed came from the exploding airbag, but only the passenger side airbag deployed, according to the police report. DOH!! Was the T-Bird a convertible? Maybe it was just sunburn... So Dunick charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged. According to the arrest affidavit, the trooper asked her afterward why she didn't hit the brakes when she saw the SUV. She answered bluntly, "I told you, I was shaving." "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it," Dunick told the Citizen. |
| Posted by:Deacon Blues |
| #2 charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged. Cop's were laughing too hard. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2015-01-13 18:39 |
| #1 From March 11, 2010. That's an old shave, not a close shave. |
| Posted by: Canuckistan sniper 2015-01-13 18:31 |