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-Short Attention Span Theater-
How to Become a Cat Lady
2015-01-04
Robert Stacy McCain does a preliminary sendup of an article on feminist dating by a leftist woman.

The inlines belong to McCain

As does the pic
Lisa Bonos (@lisabonos) has published a column headlined “How to find a feminist boyfriend” that reads like an Onion parody:
“I find it really attractive how successful you are,” my date said, leaning in for a kiss.
Sure, it sounds like a line. But it also sounds like feminism. . . .
(No, it’s a line. Trust me.)
[W]hat I want a partner to be: cute, smart, funny and … yes, feminist. So go ahead, alert Susan Patton, Lori Gottlieb and the rest of the get-married-already crowd: A 30-something single woman, eggs unfrozen, is telling other single women that they should dare to want it all if they ever hope to have it all. . . .
(Hint: If you’re a “30-something single woman,” you’ll be lucky if you get to have any of it, much less “have it all.”)
But how do you spot a male feminist if he’s not at an abortion rights rally wearing a “This Is What a Feminist Looks Like” T-shirt?
It shouldn’t be hard. After all, as Aziz Ansari said on David Letterman’s show recently, everyone’s a feminist now. Unless you think Beyonce shouldn’t have the right to vote, should earn 23 percent less than Jay-Z and should be at home cooking rather than performing. And who would think that?
Few guys will proudly say no when asked if they’re feminists. . . .
(Few guys who want to sleep with Lisa Bonos would say that, perhaps, but exactly how many guys want to sleep with Lisa Bonos?)
Instead it’s a wholehearted yes, a lukewarm maybe or Can you define what you mean by “feminist,” please? . . .
(In some cases, it means “lonely bisexual English major.”)
Here’s how I’m defining it: Feminist daters — male or female, gay or straight — aren’t constrained by gender roles. Anyone can do the asking-out, the feelings-confessing or the initiating of any kind.
(Perhaps you see why bisexual English majors are so often lonely.)
A feminist dater or boyfriend (and yes, feminists have boyfriends) is aware of the ways women have traditionally been held back, by others and by our own accord, and actively pushes against that. He’s sensitive to the fact that women’s bodies are frequently judged, abused and legislated, and takes no part in that. He gets it. . . .
You can read the rest and “get it.” It’s really a Craigslist ad disguised as an op-ed column, a pseudo-defiant gesture typical of certain women who have wasted their 20s in a series of going-nowhere “relationships.” On Twitter, Kyle Smith offers an alternate headline:

How to remain single until you are Maureen Dowd’s age

Maybe I’ll come back with more snark later, but this column is just such a motherlode of nonsense, it needs a special touch.
Posted by:badanov

#22  Silentbrick, you can have the rest of them, but I want the gray Scottish Fold on the left...
Posted by: Old Patriot   2015-01-04 22:01  

#21  Yes, the article was horrible...but um...I'll take the box of kittens. Don't tell my wife.
Posted by: Silentbrick   2015-01-04 19:46  

#20  Actually, Commodore Frank, they will change to hemaphrodites, like earthworms, and experience it all.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2015-01-04 15:42  

#19  and whatever sex they were born, they will transgender
Posted by: Frank G   2015-01-04 15:01  

#18  Except, you know, she won't become a cat lady. She'll get artificial insemination and produce a couple of kids who, best case scenario, will need psychiatric help for the rest of their lives.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2015-01-04 14:33  

#17  matt---you've been reading Day by Day Cartoon, too!

Affirmative Consent thread was a riot!
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2015-01-04 14:12  

#16  How to remain single until you are Maureen Dowd’s age

A bottle of chardonnay a night with fellow feministas helps...
Posted by: Pappy   2015-01-04 14:09  

#15  It's a Florida thing.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Mental_Health_Act
Posted by: Shipman   2015-01-04 13:51  

#14  My wife has Baker'd more than 50, I try to remember this.
Posted by: Shipman   2015-01-04 13:50  

#13  “I find it really attractive how successful you are,” my date said, leaning in for a kiss.

You fall for that one, honey, you deserve what you get. At least a couple of years of being a gravy train/second mommy to wussy boy.
Posted by: tu3031   2015-01-04 13:49  

#12  Frank, I requested data authentication of your comment about engineers with my wife, a summa cum laude science graduate of a major Midwestern university (4th in a class of ~850).

Your theory is confirmed (she didn't even have to use the Scientific Method).
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2015-01-04 12:41  

#11  Mrs. Besoeker taught K thru 3 decades ago. I can't get much of anything past her.
Posted by: Besoeker   2015-01-04 12:26  

#10  Frank nails it.
Posted by: 3dc   2015-01-04 12:11  

#9  “I find it really attractive how successful you are,” my date said, leaning in for a kiss.

Hold up. Did he get affirmative consent before making this bold move?

Posted by: Matt   2015-01-04 11:34  

#8  you're an Engineer. She'll never really understand you. She just has a high tolerance level ;-)
Posted by: Frank G   2015-01-04 11:24  

#7  I yam a lucky man. After M'Lady and I met and courted, she took extra courses and got a PhD in clinical psych just to understand me.......
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2015-01-04 11:04  

#6  Why Mrs. Warthog what a sweet thing to publish for all the world to know, you must be a real gem madam.

Posted by: Mad Eye Slose4342   2015-01-04 10:16  

#5  I am so glad I met and married Warthog before a) online dating came about, and b) the meaning of feminism morphed from meaning equal opportunity to the degradation of the males of the species. Women like this Lisa person will never be happy. I love you Warthog.
Posted by: warthogswife   2015-01-04 10:09  

#4  JohnQC is waxing prophetically this morning, but I think this opinion is reserved for the class of metrosexuals not the flyover country folks.

Posted by: Mad Eye Slose4342   2015-01-04 10:04  

#3  I'm thinking that if a lot of people hold the beliefs of Lisobonosmoonbeam, the culture will go the way of the Shakers. Men will just simply stop participating in the tripe and adopt a "flame is not worth the candle."
Posted by: JohnQC   2015-01-04 09:52  

#2  She's looking for that special man... I think for what she's looking for she'll find he's already got a boyfriend.
Posted by: BrerRabbit   2015-01-04 01:35  

#1  I tried to read it but realized it was one of the most selfish screeds ever written. It's almost pure Obama because it's real message is "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME"
Posted by: Silentbrick   2015-01-04 01:07  

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