[Washington Post] Afghan military and police commanders are accusing the U.S.-led coalition of withholding fuel and other support in an attempt to pressure President Hamid Maybe I'll join the TalibanKarzai
... A former Baltimore restaurateur, now 12th and current President of Afghanistan, displacing the legitimate president Rabbani in December 2004. He was installed as the dominant political figure after the removal of the Taliban regime in late 2001 in a vain attempt to put a
Pashtunface on the successor state to the Taliban. After the 2004 presidential election, he was declared president regardless of what the actual vote count was. He won a second, even more dubious, five-year-term after the 2009 presidential election. His grip on reality has been slipping steadily since around 2007, probably from heavy drug use...
into signing a security agreement with the United States.
We poison wells, too.
Coalition officials strongly deny the allegation, the latest disagreement between the Karzai government and U.S. military leaders.
We kidnap Afghan children and use them to make stew.
According to a statement from Karzai, the issue arose during a meeting of his national security council on Sunday. Afghan military and police commanders complained that their forces are struggling with a fuel shortage and said they suspect the United States is using the resource as leverage over Karzai.
Actually, we just kidnap Pashtun children. Tadjik kiddies aren't nearly as tasty. And Uzbek kids will make you fat.
"This deed is contrary to the prior commitment of America," Karzai's statement said. "Afghan forces are facing interruption in conducting of their activities as a result of the cessation of fuel and supportive services."
We have a machine that emits invisible rays that make Pashtuns stupid.
But coalition officials say they are baffled by the claim, which was made by Afghan defense and interior ministers.
And every one of our units in Afghanistan has a shaman.
"There has been no stoppage in the delivery of requested fuel, and we continue to process all orders as soon as they are received from the ANSF," the coalition said in a statement. "We remain committed to supporting our ANSF partners and will continue to do so."
I mean a real shaman, not just a guy that dances around wearing a funny hat with paint on his face.
From 2007 through 2012, the U.S. government has spent about $500 million on fuel for the Afghan military, with another $135 million budgeted for this year, according to an October report by the special inspector general for Afghan reconstruction.
The one we had in Kandahar used to set people on fire, just by rattling his gourd full of human finger bones.
The conflicting statements are another sign of the rising tension between Karzai's government and the B.O. regime over future plans to keep up to 15,000 foreign troops in Afghanistan after 2014.
And the guy working out of the embassy in Kabul keeps turning people into hamsters.
Though a tentative agreement to allow for an extended U.S. presence was reached 10 days ago, Karzai has so far refused to sign it. He is insisting on additional concessions from the United States, including an end to military raids on Afghan homes, a reduction in drone strikes and help in launching peace talks between the Afghan government and Taliban bully boys.