[THESMOKINGGUN] The Oklahoma woman who had a loaded handgun concealed in her vagina when she was arrested earlier this year on a drug charge has been sentenced to 25 years in state prison, according to court records.I'm not sure I can actually comment coherently on this one. It's gonna be tasteless, so you might want to stop reading now...
Christie Dawn Harris, 28, last week entered no contest pleas to three felony counts during a hearing in Pontotoc County District Court.
"I confess. It was my gun. It was my twat."
Harris, whose rap sheet already includes multiple felony convictions, copped on June 27 to possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, gun possession, and bringing contraband into jail.
"Hi, there! Is that a gun in your underwear or are you just glad to see me?"
Judge Steven Kessinger sentenced Harris to serve 25 years on each count, with the penalties to run concurrently.
That's 25 years for the rosco, and 25 years for the clam, but added together they only come out to 25 years.
He also ordered her to pay $1363 in court costs and fees.
"Oh, all right! Here lemme get my dough!"
"You put those pants back on!"
Harris, seen in the adjacent mug shot,
She's a sullen-looking wench. You wouldn't want to meet her in a dark Motel 6.
was arrested in March after a drug dog alerted to a vehicle in which she and another woman were seated (the car was parked outside a closed restaurant at 3:45 AM).
"Aroo-o-o-o-o-o!"
"What is it, boy? What do you smell?"
"Arooo! Ruff! Ruff!"
"No kiddin'?"
"Ruff! Ruff!"
"Two of 'em? I'd better call for backup!"
A subsequent search of the Toyota Yaris turned up meth, drug paraphernalia, a .25 caliber semi-automatic pistol, and a loaded magazine.
That's what just one of the Twins of Pleasure was sitting on.
While being transported to jail, Harris told a cop "several times that she needed to go to the bathroom," according to an Ada Police Department report.
"Can we stop? I gotta pass a really hard one!"
During processing at the jail, Harris balked when directed to lower her underwear so that a female officer could check for contraband. She "advised that she was on her period and did not want to," cops noted.
"Hey, Sylvia! Check out this tampon!"
After Harris complied with police, Officer Kathy Unbewust reported, "I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area." Unbewust then "pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber."
"Well, well! What's this?"
"It's for personal use!"
Investigators subsequently identified the weapon as a Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun, which was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell. The police report notes that "gun located in suspect vagina."
"One spent shell"? Y'mean she only thought it was that time of the month?
