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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Dog owners in one neighborhood have to get their dog swabbed to keep track of poop
2013-06-14
[WHPTV] For people living in a York County [PA] condominium complex, they'll soon have to get their dogs swabbed for DNA because of what officials are calling a growing problem.

Chestnut Pointe Condo Association Board members said they will soon implement a program using "Poo-Prints", after some people have not been able to clean up after their dogs.
You're not allowed to fling dog turds at politicians in Pennsylvania, so the droppings have no practical use.
According to a message posted on the Dallastown condo's mailbox area and sent individually to the owners or renters of the 12 units, there have been complaints that messes are left on the grasses. One resident told CBS 21 News that because of the feces on the ground, some people have stepped in it and brought it inside the home, staining the carpets.
Ummm... A dozen units? Approximately 24 adults, assuming each is inhabited by married or cohabiting couples? How many of the households are represented on the condo association?
"We have talked to a lot of experts in the field and this is the best solution we could have come up with," said Lee March, a resident and the board's president.
He should have talked to someone with a bit of common sense, rather than relying on experts in the field of dog poop.
"Parents don't want their children playing in the grass because there's dog poop everywhere, " she said.
One method of coping with the problem would be for anyone else present to holler "Hey! Pick up your dog poop!" Eventually everyone in the community will know who doesn't pick up his dog poop and they can start bagging it for them and leaving it on their doorstep. Or not bag it.
Last week, the Board posted the notice where they have to have their dogs swabbed for the DNA. The association will pay for the costs, according to the statement, but after June 21st, residents who missed out on it or buy a new pet, will have to pay for the DNA tests and lab work which could add up $90.
Posted by:Fred

#9  *Bing!*
Attention: if you are a mooslimb or consider yourself a follower of moholland, please say the convert phrase three times. You will then be asked to repeat confirmation lines - you will receive suggestion on ununciation.

Your record of this violation will be expunged and this event will be erased from the database. Malignant salami.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2013-06-14 16:59  

#8  Besides, they probably already lifted DNA and fingerprints from payments mailed to the IRS, and know what you look like by doing a search engine of the security camera footage matched against your purchase of $11.49 on your credit card on 4/18/13 at 14:38:16.

And considering these health records, are you sure that a large coffee and eclair was a good good choice citizen? Considering you think wearing brown in the Springtime is a good idea we would like to politely suggest visiting our website and viewing our quick 15 minute video. Your webcam will confirm your identity and your undivided attention.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2013-06-14 16:50  

#7  @5

I read something the other day about law enforcement in Georgia, I think, going car to car at a traffic inspection and asking for a DNA swab.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2013-06-14 16:42  

#6  I, at one time, posted a sign on my property "Doggies, please ask your pigs to pick up your poop." Mrs. Phester didn't like it much and it only lasted a few days....
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2013-06-14 13:15  

#5  You're next....
Posted by: FBI, NSA, etc...   2013-06-14 13:13  

#4  Had to go check out the story before commenting.

First, its not a news article, its an news-style advertisement. Second, that is a nice neighborhood, so its not gangsta-g with his pack of wardogs flashing steel at people who look his way. This is rich people problems. Third, even the rep says its not the condo people who are doing it, its other dogs - dogs which would not be registered by this program and the fines would not be enforcable.

I think its time we ban high-capacity dogs. Poopers, your poopers please.

(Thanks for the link BP)

Now, this story irritates me for some reason and I'm going to try to get the bug out. Foremost, people are letting other people via dog crap all over their property and thereby their family. That's your life's work, those are your kids, stand up dammit! I ambushed a veteran alley cat with a tomahawk. Yeah, you read that right, missed by only a couple inches. See, it was peeing on my porch and I don't want my little ones playing in cat pee. Also, I cannot predict or count on that cat being in a good mood. Nor the loose dogs I chased off in my bare feet and berserker barking. Take some control, there are things which can be done: its the 21st century, take a picture of the owner with a dumb face and the dog in duty, print it and post it in the yard for next time. Dog is loose, water balloon with bear urine, don't even have to hit the target just miss upwind, or dribble a bit along the perimeter - however messy you want to get.

And the animal rights people can go kiss it, because in this case the animal abuse is the owner not taking responsibility for their animal which could cause real harm to a child who gets this in their mouth, as well as property damage. Right Mr. Gifford?
Posted by: swksvolFF   2013-06-14 12:49  

#3  An example of the "tragedy of the commons" suitable for kids. It will be the best lesson they learn today.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2013-06-14 08:18  

#2  Think they know exactly who the anti-social party is.

this is just a way of proving it.
Posted by: Bright Pebbles   2013-06-14 08:17  

#1  "We have talked to a lot of experts in the field and this is the best solution we could have come up with," said Lee March, a resident and the board's president.

Mean while, the dogs have taken their own action.
Posted by: Angamble Angilet7195   2013-06-14 00:34  

00:00