 A man told police he was on a military mission when caught shoplifting Sunday afternoon at a supermarket in east Athens.
| "Your mission, Robert, should you decide to accept it, is to find one of the few remaining Twinkies at the Kroger, and bring it to us." |
Robert Anthony Leseueur, 36, was arrested at the Kroger on College Station Road for drinking a soda and eating a beef stick, then trying to leave the store without paying, Athens-Clarke police said.
| Got short-rationed again, did he? |
Police said store managers caught Leseueur attempting to leave and held him until an officer arrived.
"Lemme go! Lemme go!"
"You stay put until Officer Squarenuts gets here!"
"No way, Satan's water bottle is gonna spring a leak!" |
Leseueur first explained that "someone on the Internet had told him to come get those items," the officer wrote in an incident report.
| They also told him to send them his social security number to Nigeria... |
While speaking with Leseueur, it became apparent to the officer that he was a raving loonie has some sort of issue, which was blacked out in a copy of the officer's report made public on Monday.
"He stated that he works for Seal Team Six and was on a special mission," the officer wrote in the report.
"What kind of mission, pal?"
"A special mission, officer! Now lemme go or else Satan's gonna get outta jug." |
"He also informed me that he had caught Satan and had him in a bottle in his book bag."
| Sure. Where else would you put him? |
Whatever issues Leseueur might, he was still arrested and booked into the Clarke County Jail on a theft by shoplifting charge.
| Wonder if they dumped Satan down the drain. |
While he has no criminal record noted in Clarke County Superior Court, Leseueur served prison time for convictions in other Georgia counties and has been arrested in at least one other state.
| Might want to check with the state psychiatric facility... |
Central State Prison released Leseueur just five months ago, after he served nearly two years for an aggravated stalking conviction in Taliaferro County.
| That was a special mission too... |
Leseueur entered the state prison system twice before in 1995 and 1999, both times for convictions in McDuffie County on theft, burglary and other charges, according to the Georgia Department of Corrections. He was arrested for burglary in Tennessee in 2004, and a year later was booked into the Dekalb County Jail as a fugitive.
He was booked into the local jail Sunday and listed has having a Snapfinger Drive address in Athens. |