This is what you might call our Classy Broad o' the Month story...(CBS SF) SANTA CRUZ -- A pregnant woman tossed in the calaboose
Keep yer hands where we can see 'em, if yez please!
last weekend for public drunkenness gave birth in the lobby of the Santa Cruz County jail early Monday.
So now the child will have something to talk about for the rest of her life, once she learns to talk...
Sheriff's Sgt. Steve Carney told the Santa Cruz Sentinel that jail staff initially refused to book the 29-year-old Clearlake woman Sunday afternoon because she was pregnant and intoxicated. She was eventually booked after an evaluation at local hospital.
"Can you gimme an evaluation, Doc?""Sure. She's knocked up. And drunk."
The woman was being released Monday after deputies determined she had sobered up enough to go home, according to the Sentinel.
"How many fingers y'see, Shirl?"
"Eleven."
"Try again."
"Six?"
"Give it another try."
[Hic!] Four?"
"Close enough. Get the hell outta here."
As she was being escorted out of the jail lobby, she went into labor, according to the Sentinel.
"Aaaah!"
"Wossa motta, Shirl?"
"The baby! It's com... [BLURT!]... here!"
The jail's medical staff assisted in the delivery of a baby girl estimated to be two or three months premature, the report said.
"More like passin' a cantaloupe than a watermelon, eh, Shirl?"
"Shuddup and gimme a drink."
Jail staffers had to resuscitate the newborn before paramedics arrived, Carney said.
"Jones! Give the child CPR!"
"But she's all slimy and..."
"Get breathing, Jones!"
"
Or staggered away, as it were...
The mother and baby were taken to the hospital for further observation and care, the report said.
"Another one for the drunk tank, Dr. Kildare. Oh, and put the little one in the NICU when you get time."