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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Bicyclist Allegedly Attacked by Frozen Sausage-Wielding Thief
2012-06-20
It was the sausage that was frozen, not the sausage-wielding thief, if that means anything...
A Massachusetts man has pleaded not guilty
"Wudn't me."
 to attacking a bicyclist with sausage links and a wrench before making off with jewelry and the bike.
See, da jools and da bike, dey came right at me. Dey even followed me down da alley. Wotsa guy supposed ta do?
Michael Baker, of Holbrook, was arraigned Monday on charges including assault and battery with a dangerous weapon
The wrench or the sausage links?
This is Massachusetts. Do you know how much fat and salt are in those sausages? The guy's lucky if they don't double the jail time on that basis alone.
in connection with the Sunday morning attack. The Enterprise of Brockton reports that Baker's lawyer says his client was trying to defend himself from the alleged victim. Bail was set at $1,000.

The bicyclist tells police the assailant swung the string of sausage links at him before hitting him with the wrench.

Police say Baker was caught a short time later with the bike and a wrench. Police later found that sausages and other food had been stolen from a food stand at the Brockton Fairgrounds.
Posted by:Fred

#1  The suspect was hauled away in a patty wagon and grilled by police investigators.
Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418   2012-06-20 20:31  

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