'Pagri' dishonouredOh, noze! Not the pagri!
Writing in Express Tanvir Qaiser Shahid stated that by using the pagri (turban) in the killing of Tajik leader Burhanuddin Rabbani, the Taliban had dishonoured the pagri as it was one Muslim killing another Muslim with the symbol of Muslim honour. It was equally shocking that the killer and the killed were both wearing pagri.
| Â Shocking indeed. Completely not what one would expect from such honourable people. |
Sorry. That was me. I shouldn't have had the chili.
Famous TV anchor Hamid Mir wrote in Jang that after making Pakistan fight its war against terror the US was doing badmashi against Pakistan. He said this was condemnable and he had condemned it earlier also but it was important to tell Pakistanis that Musharraf's surrender of airfields and other facilities began this slavery for which wee were paying a price today.
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Osama was killed before Abbottabad attack
Daily Pakistan reported on a seminar at Lahore Press Club in which the orators led by Jamaat Islami chief Munawwar Hasan said that Osama bin Laden had been killed long before the Americans attacked Abbottabad. Other speakers insisted that if Osama was killed before the attack then facts about his earlier killing should be brought to light.
 Well, you'd hardly expect them to admit publicly that we done him in using the Hairy Eyeball, wouldja?
Hina and Mullen
Writing in Jang lyrical columnist Irfan Siddiqi stated that just as Pakistan's foreign minister Hina Khar was getting herself and her husband photographed together with the royal couple the Obamas of America,
| People speak about the "royal couple" Prince Charles and whatshername, but never the royal couple King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and his chief wife... |
 Ahah! How could we possibly have missed the connection... Whatever it is?
Imran Khan's extremists
Columnist Ataul Haq Qasmi wrote in Jang that he was a great admirer of Imran Khan but was disappointed by his habit of doing character assassination of those he considered his opponents. But when he wrote about it in his column he was attacked by the partymen of Imran Khan who sent him a hundred messages of abuse. He wrote that he was not the only journalist thus attacked; Nusrat Javeed had suffered the same kind of extremist reaction earlier.
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Uniting under attack!
Famous intellectual Oria Maqbul Jan wrote in Express that America's attack on Pakistan has united all Muslims.
| And unitedly the taqfiris are killing as many of the rest as they can, while the secular nationalists do the same from the other side. |
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Pak Army will break America's face!
World famous military genius and ex-army chief Aslam Beg was reported in daily Pakistan as saying that if America attacked Miranshah, Pakistan army will break its face (muhn tor). America was defeated and was trying in vain to find a way out of Afghanistan but if it attacked Pakistan it will regret its action.
| It is indeed manifest from that statement that ex-army chief Aslam Beg is a genius. Only I've forgotten -- which war was it that he won? |
Writing in Jinnah Khushnood Ali Khan stated at a supper where he and Hamid Mir were present, ex-PPP leader Senator Anwar Beg walked in and approaching Jamaat Islami ex-chief Qazi Hussain Ahmad, touched his knees in great reverence. In return Qazi Sahib also showed him great affection. Beg was recently fired from the PPP and was looking to start a new direction in politics.
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Zaid Hamid runs away!
Daily Jinnah reported that Zaid Zaman Hamid the hate speech expert was invited to engage in a polemic with Allama Tahir Ashrafi in Faisalabad. Ashrafi had challenged him to prove that he was not the successor of the false prophet Yusuf Kazzab. Zaid Hamid instead of coming to the discussion ran away from the venue because he could not defend himself against the charge of having supported a blaspheming man who claimed to be a prophet.
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Why was Zaid Hamid invited to military college?
Daily Jinnah quoted chief editor Khushnood Ali Khan as asking the Army Chief to inquire why Zaid Hamid was invited to address the prestigious military college in Islamabad, The National Defence College. He asked to know the name of the officer who invited the condemned man to the College and asked: who were the elements in the army promoting Zaid Hamid?
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America defeated in Afghanistan!
Famous chief editor Majeed Nizami was reported in Nawa-e-Waqt as saying that America had been defeated in Afghanistan and was now looking for excuses to make its fleeing from there look like victory. He said Pakistani youth needed to be educated on the basis of ideology and should be told about the great difficulty with which Pakistan was created.
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Ex-foreign secretary appeals for sovereignty
Quoted in daily Pakistan ex-foreign secretary Shamshad Ahmad Khan stated that Pakistan had itself was an enemy of its sovereignty by making too many concessions to America and by becoming its slave. The fact is that no one can kill Pakistan nor will the Pakistanis be killed because America cannot survive without Pakistan (Hamaray baghair nahin reh sakta).
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What if Kayani became president?
They used to ask the same thing about Musharraf, didn't they?
Columnist Nazeer Naji wrote in Jang that if the US pressed Pakistan too hard the government in Islamabad could fall and America may be forced to face a situation in which General Kayani rings Obama and says this is President Kayani speaking, let's talk now. At the present time only junior officers from the US talk to the government of Pakistan.
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Don't take risk for the sake of Haqqanis
Ex-foreign minister Asif Ahmad Ali stood out when he told Mashriq that Pakistan was unwise if it was taking risks of isolation for the sake of the Haqqani Group. He said doing so would jeopardise the security of Pakistan through panga (messing) with a superpower.
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What America wants
Writing in Express Tanvir Qaiser Shahid stated that America wanted India to get its claws into Afghanistan, wants to strengthen nuclear India and destroy Pakistan's sovereignty by targeting the ISI. It was an irony that America wants a poverty-stricken Pakistan to also get its men killed while confronting the Haqqani Group.
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Altaf Hussain has divorce trouble!
Reported in Jinnah the divorced wife of MQM chief Altaf Hussain, Faiza Gabol was once again knocking at the door of a court in London trying to reopen the case of her divorce from Altaf Bhai. Altaf Hussain she said had lied about his property and therefore did not pay her what was owed to her after divorce.
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Durrani's Bahawalpur versus Seraiki province
Chief Editor Khushnood Ali Khan wrote in Jinnah that during a supper with Qazi Hussain Ahmad ex-minister under Musharraf, Muhammad Ali Durrani walked in, on which the writer told him to touch Qazi Sahib's knees out of reverence because his campaign for a separate province of Bahawalpur will postpone the setting up of a Seraiki Province in South Punjab. Hamid Mir whispered that Durrani's final place was inside the PMLN and not PMLQ.
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A stupid case of blasphemy
Daily Express reported that a Christian child was being accused of blasphemy because of a spelling error she made in her answer sheet during an exam. She was kicked out of school. She wanted to write na'at (hymn of praise to Prophet OBUH) but through a misplacement of diacritical marks ended up writing la'nat (curse). Her parents went to school and apologised for the error to save their daughter from being convicted under blasphemy and hanged.