[NY Daily News] An Arkansas weatherman didn't predict he would wake up in a hot tub with a naked dead man, but that's exactly what police say happened."Legume! My cape! The game's afoot!"
Now authorities are trying to determine what killed Dexter Williams, whose body was found with a "dog collar" around his neck, according to a police report.
"Always, Legume, the little gray cells will point to a clue! My saxophone, please!"
The mystery began Monday night, when KARK 4 News meteorologist Brett Cummins arrived at the home of John Barbour around 11 p.m. in Maumelle, just north of Little Rock, the report stated. The 33-year-old weatherman brought Williams, 24, with him. Barbour said he did not know the doomed man.
"Ahah! He did not know the man, but he knew he was doomed? Suspicious, is it not?"
"They then began to drink and use illegal narcotics," Officer Gregory Roussie said Barbour told him. "Mr. Barbour stated he was not sure of the drugs that they were using but that they were snorting them."
"More drugs, Brett?"
"Yersh, shankew... [DROOL!]... Shay! Thish don't fit up m'nose!"
"It's a joint, Brett!"
About two hours later, Cummins and Williams went into the Jacuzzi to have a drink, and Barbour later joined them, police said.
"Join us in the jacuzzi for a drink, John?"
"But I have no bathing suit!"
"Heh heh!"
"Heh heh!"
"Heh heh!"
Shortly afterwards, Barbour said he left the two
"E-w-w-w-w-w! That's nasty! I can't bear to watch! Besides, I can watch the video tomorrow..."
and went into the living room, where he fell asleep on the couch.
"Jush one more liddle snort before I... Zzzzzz!"
Barbour told police he awoke about 8 a.m. Tuesday and could hear Cummins snoring in the hot tub,
"Quiet out there! You could wake the dead with that snoring!... Ooooh! My head!"
the report said. He proceeded to gather glasses in the bathroom and wake up Cummins before realizing Williams was dead.
"Brett? Hey, buddy! You wanna snore a little louder?"
"Dexter's head was lying behind Brett's left shoulder," Barbour told police, according to the report.
"Omigawd! Is he...?"
"Yes, Brett. He's behind your left shoulder."
"After Brett awoke they discovered that Dexter was not conscious and his face was a different color."
"A different color? Ahah! His disguise had failed!"
The meteorologist was horrified, the report indicated.
"Oh, horrors!"
"Brett screamed
"[SHRIEK!]"
and became ill and left the bathroom and vomited on the carpet in the living room,"
[B-A-A-A-RF!]
"My Persian carpet!"
Barbour told police, according to the report. The weatherman then left the house, but insisted he would return.
"I gotta... I gotta get outta here!"
"You better be back here as soon as you change that shirt, Brett! I ain't takin' the fall for you!"
"Bitch!"
"Cummins did return to the residence
"Alright. I'm back."
"That shirt does not go with those shoes, Brett!"
and gave a statement to investigators," Roussie said in the report. No details of what he said have been released.
This is a family publication, y'know.
When police arrived they observed Williams "lying on his right side in a fetal position, his face was blue and purple in color with a chain around his neck," Roussie said in the report. "The chain was silver in color and consistent with what I believed to be a dog collar."
"Yes. YES! YES! He was... he was... he was my SEX POODLE!"
He also noted that he "observed a small ring of blood around the bottom of the tub."
You don't wanna know.
An autopsy is underway to determine what killed Williams,
"I believe we can rule out an excess of virtue, Legume!"
but so far no charges have been filed in his death.
"Wait till the autopsy results are back, Mahoney!"
"But Chief! Did you see that video? That was nasty!"
KARK 4 News stated online Tuesday that "Brett will not be on the air as he is mourning the loss of his friend."