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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Honest TSA I Spilled Tobasco on my Johnson
2010-12-31
A 50 year old Floridian has been arrested after he exposed himself on a flight from Salt Lake City to Lewiston, ID. The man reportedly started masturbating next to a 17 year old girl on the plane, who then moved seats to get away from the pervert.

Upon arrival at the airport, the girl told her father, who contacted the Transportation Security Administration. When TSA officials contacted the local police department, the man was placed under arrest on suspicion of "misdemeanor indecent exposure".

According to police, the man claims he spilled Tabasco sauce on his crotch, causing him to expose himself and rub violently to reduce the burning and itching.

Of course, anyone that has actually seen a bottle of Tabasco knows that the hot stuff comes out one drip at a time, so spilling enough to set your genitals on fire is a really lousy excuse. He'll get to use his Tabasco excuse in front of a judge soon, who'll have to decide whether this really is a case of inflight masturbation or something innocent.
Posted by:Beavis

#6  He couldn't have been flying DELTA coach. He simply wouldn't have had room for that type of activity.
Posted by: Besoeker   2010-12-31 14:45  

#5  TMI
Posted by: OldSpook   2010-12-31 14:23  

#4  There's a rude country & western song in there somewhere.

Let's see. A cowboy rides into town, gets himself some lunch and spills "Snake Bite Hot Sauce" on himself. Nothing works to reduce the fire, so he gets the idea of visiting a local whore-lady. It doesn't help him much, but it gets her all fired up, and so soon, between the two, everybody in town has their crotch on fire.

But the day is saved by bisexual Juanita, who isn't bothered by spicy hot food. She goes around town "sucking out the poison".
Posted by: Anonymoose   2010-12-31 07:59  

#3  We always used milk to stop the burn of hot peppers. Rubbing only spreads the irritant, making the pain worse... and it lasts for hours. One would expect a gentleman in pain would ask the nearest stewardess for first aid help, however mortifying.
Posted by: trailing wife   2010-12-31 07:35  

#2  Try the habanero next time.
Posted by: gorb   2010-12-31 02:15  

#1  quick solution: quit masturbating with Tabasco, fool
Posted by: Frank G   2010-12-31 00:26  

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