In the second bizarre incident at the State Fair in a week, Cal Expo police shot an agitated, pregnant dairy cow that twice escaped her confines and knocked over an officer as she bolted through the fairgrounds Tuesday morning."Look out! It's a cow!"
Neither the cow nor her calf survived the shooting, which occurred an hour before gates opened to the public.
"They're dead, Jim!"
Ultimately, the roughly 1,200-pound cow became a threat to thousands of employees already abuzz in the fairgrounds, police and veterinary officials said.
Ummm... Did anybody think of calling a cowboy?
They agreed she had to be put down after a 1 1/2-hour chase.
"Goddam, Toody! I can't run no more!"
"Me, neither, Muldoon! I'm just gonna shot it!"
"Shoot the calf, too!"
"Obviously, we're in a caring profession and the last thing we want to do is see an animal euthanized," said W. David Wilson, director of the veterinary medical teaching hospital at the University of California, Davis, which oversaw the care of the cow.
"Because we're a caring profession we couldn't set out a coupla eight-year-olds with switches to herd Bossy back into her pen. They mighta hurt her."
However, he added, "A very difficult choice had to be made."
"Toody, I can't decide! Should I shoot her in the head? Or the butt?"
About 9:30 a.m. Tuesday, UC Davis veterinarians were delivering the cow to the fairgrounds, where she was expected to give birth to her calf before wide-eyed fairgoers as part of the long-standing Livestock Nursery program.
"Line up there, kids! Widen those eyes! Yer gonna see somethin' wondrous here!"
"Hey! Lookit that thing behind her udders!"
"E-e-e-e-e-www!"
"I think I'm gonna [BARF!]"
But the cow became agitated and fled,
"Hooooooves, don't fail me now!"
"It's the midway! I'll get lost in the crowd! They'll never find me there!"
Police officers and veterinary officials corralled the cow and penned her in with crowd-control barriers, May said.
"Oh, no y'don't, Bossy!"
He added that veterinarians did not want the cow tranquilized because they feared for the calf's health. But they calmed her some by plying her with food and hay, Wilson said.
"Here, Bossy! Have some nice food and hay!"
"I wanted cotton candy! And a corn dog!"
An hour later, as officials tried to load her into a trailer, she again became anxious and fled.
"Into the trailer wit' yez, Bossy!"
"Moooove outta my way! I'm goin' for a corn dog!"
Getting desperate, veterinarians agreed to tranquilize the cow.
"Don't look, Timmy!"
Two attempts failed,
"Wow, man! Lissen to the colors!... But whuzzat?... Whuzzat?... It looks like... It looks like... Izzat Beelzebub?"
"Look out, Fat Freddy! She's startin' the mother of all bad trips!"
and the cow again broke loose from another makeshift pen,
"Moooo! It'za gonna get me! Don' leddit get me!"
knocking over an officer in the process.
"Toody! Look out! [STOMP!]... Oh, that hadda hurt!"
Our weapons are useless against her!
At that point, May estimated, several thousand of the fair's 10,000 employees already were setting up shop on the grounds. Proud youngsters were nearby, too, caring for their own livestock on display at the fair.
"Just ignore them, Fluffy!"
Officers made the decision to shoot the cow, May said. Wilson said the veterinarians reluctantly agreed.
"Well, yeah. I guess so. If we can't do anything [BANG!] else..."
"Very, very rapid" action possibly could have saved the calf's life, but the circumstances were not conducive to such a surgery, Wilson said.
"Muldoon! Why'd you shoot her there?"
"I didn't want to spoil the head, for the wall in my den!"
Lafayette resident Jennifer Nelson and her children were inside Cal Expo to promote water conservation when a security guard alerted them about the loose cow.
"Everybody get outta here! There's a cow on the loose!"
From a distance, they could see the cow penned in by vehicles. Then she heard shots.
Suddenly a shot rang out...
Mooo...Rosebud.