Jonah Goldberg, "The Corner" @ National Review
On the effect of zombies on political theories of international relations:
...It is fundamental to all zombie scenarios that efforts to "weaponize" zombies fail almost immediately. To be sure, governments would try to use zombies for their own nefarious ends, but these efforts would only hasten the advance of the zombie menace....
I will have more to say about this. But let me just throw it out there: a true zombie invasion will trump traditional international theory (never mind farm subsidies!). The computer modeling of zombie proliferation alone would convince realists, neocons, even the vast majority pacifists to either liquidate the zombies at all costs or to bunker down for their own protection. Zombies, quite simply, would be a game-changer.
I'm not too sure of that. - I can easily envision the talking heads on the teevee discussing the "Myth of the Zombie Threat."
- There will be those who point out that zombie attacks have only effected 24 percent of the population, and not all of them have been fatal. You actually have a better chance of getting the flu than you do of having your brain devoured by a zombie, so what's the fuss?
- The DNC will point out the unfairness of losing one's right to vote as soon as decomposition sets in.
- The Berkeley City Council will establish the city as a Zombie Amnesty zone, where the walking dead will be safe from fascist police repression.
- The civil rights establishment will pore over the figures for zombies that have been blown away by shotguns, carefully tabulating how many were what color.
- There will be street demonstrations in Seattle and New York demanding justice for zombies, who are after all no different from you and me except for being dead and wanting to eat brains.
- At least one major fashion house will incorporate shrouds into its fall line...
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