EPIC FAIL!! Teletubby rejects from the Village PeopleAfter 18 months, 40 focus groups and a secret operation worthy of MI5, London 2012 on Wednesday finally revealed the mascots that will help define the capital's Olympic experience, and just as importantly help pay for it.
Return of the Golliwoggles...
The one-eyed figures, called Wenlock and Mandeville, were unveiled at an east London school on Wednesday with organisers hoping they will inspire a generation of children and persuade their parents to contribute the £15 million the mascots are slated to raise in merchandising revenue.
Two parts-Pokemon to one-part lava lamp with yellow 'Taxi' lights on their foreheads, the distinctive characters are intended to capture the imagination of children
(and sell them to Cthulhu)
and work as well in the digital world as they will in costume form at trackside in 2012.
Any concern at the appropriateness of the design, which shares a certain abstraction with London's much criticised logo, should be off-set by the smart choice of names, which resonate with Britain's Olympic and Paralympic history.
Much Wenlock in Shropshire is considered by many the birthplace of the modern Olympics. Baron Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the IOC, visited the town in 1890 and took inspiration from the annual Games organised by Dr William Penny Brookes, a local doctor, to "promote the moral, physical and intellectual improvement of the inhabitants".
More likely to frighten away terrorists and protestors, as well as horses and children.
Stoke Mandeville's famous spinal injuries unit meanwhile was where the Paralympic movement began, and the naming of one mascot after the hospital is an explicit attempt to raise the profile of the Paralympic Games.
The mascots will soon be ubiquitous, with merchandise going on sale in July to mark two years to the London 2012 opening ceremony.
They are a central part of London's £70 million merchandising budget, and organisers hope the mascots will contribute up to 20 per cent of that sum through sales of T-shirts, key-rings, tea-towels and the like.
There are that many Cthulhu cultists out there?
The Cyclops design allows the mascots' eyes to work as lenses, and digital cameras in the shape of the characters will be available.
*shiver*
