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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Police: Man tried to revive dead possum; alcohol involved
2010-03-26
Police said a man will be charged with public drunkenness after several witnesses saw him attempting to resuscitate a road-killed opossum.

State police said they charged Donald Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, Jefferson County, after they arrived at the scene on Route 36 in Oliver Township around 3 p.m. Thursday. A news release from police does not state how he was trying to revive the opossum.
We probably don't want to know.

Opossums have migrated into the Lubbock area during the last few years. I nearly stepped on one of the disgusting rat-tailed varmints while I was taking the trash out the other night. It was literally playing possum, sprawled out on the ground watching me with those beady little eyes. Whoever figured out that you could eat these critters must have been awfully damn hungry.
Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy

#11  A few years ago I lived in the woods (I Own 10 Acres) and we had Possums, Deer, Coons and Bobcats peacefuly dining alongside my cats outside.
(Some of my Kitens were quite large, made wonderful housecats) 15 pounds of lovable Tomcats. Unsure of their parentage. maybe half Bobcat.(No ear tufts)
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2010-03-26 20:00  

#10  personally, i find possums to be kind of cute. we had one that used to come up on the porch one winter. it tamed down and became a pseudo pet. they have pretty amazing feet. opposable thumbs on all four. the tails have soft hair on them and feel pretty bizarre.
Posted by: abu do you love   2010-03-26 19:39  

#9  If there is no one to claim this `cat`, there is always other possibilities:
Posted by: BigEd   2010-03-26 17:37  

#8  He had better be careful, because unless he says "Klaatu Barada Nikto" just right, he might create himself a zombie possum. And nobody wants that.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2010-03-26 17:27  

#7  Update from CBS News (so you know it's true)

Police: Drunk Pa. Man Tried To Revive Dead Opossum

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) - Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway. State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance.
He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Levier says the animal already had been dead a while. The Associated Press could not locate a home telephone number for Wolfe. (emphasis added)


Reminds me of the time I found a local street preacher mumbling and gesticulating in my parking lot. He was trying to cast out a visitor's Dodge Demon. I told him we would just have it towed if it caused any problems.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2010-03-26 17:00  

#6  And no, it does not taste like chicken
Posted by: john frum   2010-03-26 16:22  

#5  I've eaten it. Not too bad. I prefer Armadillo though.
Posted by: john frum   2010-03-26 16:21  

#4  Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the possum it could be done.


Thankew, thankew - I'll be here interminably all week. Try the veal. :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2010-03-26 16:16  

#3  My children are hungry, my dog needs a bone.
I'm out of a job now, so I'm just drivin' home.
An hour after sundown, when what to my delight,
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

cho: There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.
If I can just run him over, every thing will be all right.
We'll have some possum gravy, oh what a beautiful sight;
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.

Won't have to clean no chicken, won't have to open no cans.
Just a little bit closer, and I'll have him in my hands.
I think the time has come now, to go from "dim" to "bright."
There's five pounds of possum in my headlights tonight.
Posted by: KBK   2010-03-26 16:09  

#2  How many banjo players does it take to eat a possum?

Two, one to watch for traffic.
Posted by: KBK   2010-03-26 15:58  

#1  
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2010-03-26 14:31  

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