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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Sweden woman's 'murder' committed by elk not husband
2009-11-29
A Swedish man who was arrested on suspicion of murdering his wife has been cleared, after police decided she was probably killed by an elk.
That's a new one, even for the Burg. And we used to see a lot of elk stories...
Ingemar Westlund, aged 68, found the dead body of his wife Agneta, 63, by a lake close to the village of Loftahammer in September 2008. He was immediately arrested and held in police custody for 10 days.
"Ja, sure! Stick 'em uppsala!"
Now the case has been dropped after forensic analysis found elk hair and saliva on his wife's clothes.
"My late wife? With an elk?"
His wife had last been seen taking the family dog out for a walk in the forest.
"Ja, sure! Here Røver!"
When she failed to return her husband went out to look for her.
"Ja, sure. It's dinnertime. And she's not back yet. Where are the herring?... Honey, where are the herring?... Hmmm... No answer. Maybe I should go look for her... Nothing on the teevee... Where's my hat?"
Although the murder investigation was dropped five months ago, details have only just emerged and the police plan to hold a news conference next week to explain what happened.
"Ja, sure! Really. We can explain!"
The European elk, or moose, is usually considered to be shy and will normally run away from humans. But Swedish Radio International says the animals can become aggressive after eating fermented fallen apples in gardens.
"Her last words were 'Here, little elkie! Want some of these apples?'"
Posted by:lotp

#17  Ann, leave me out of it.
Posted by: Brontosaurus   2009-11-29 22:03  

#16  Mike,

We're all culturally competent here. Knowledge of Monty Python, Tom Lehrer, Douglas Adams, ST Classic and Casablanca are required of all contributors.
Posted by: Eric Jablow   2009-11-29 21:04  

#15  I have a theory about this case, and that theory is mine.
Posted by: Ann Elk   2009-11-29 19:53  

#14  I came to make Mike's comment, leave the thread satisfied.
Posted by: Mizzou Mafia   2009-11-29 19:19  

#13  There's a character in the game Oblivion called "Agneta the Pickled". Might explain a lot.
Posted by: Gerthudion Flolulet3303   2009-11-29 13:11  

#12  It can sometimes pay to belong to a fraternal organization....
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2009-11-29 12:15  

#11  /too obscure?

Monty Python references are never too obscure in this forum.
Posted by: badanov   2009-11-29 11:59  

#10  Rabbits. Don't forget the viscious attack rabbits.
-Jimmah(AKA 2nd worst POTUS evah)
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2009-11-29 11:56  

#9  I, for one, welcome our Elk Overlords.

(Probably do better than our current Overlords....)
Posted by: CrazyFool   2009-11-29 11:56  

#8  reminds me of the swedish folk tale of a mans wife who was so obstinate and disagreeable that when she drowned in a mountain river ( hubby had had enough ) her body floated upstream.
Posted by: 746   2009-11-29 11:27  

#7  Don't make mother nature Artemis mad.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2009-11-29 08:59  

#6  Hide her decline.
Posted by: lex   2009-11-29 08:47  

#5  "...Mind you, elk bites can be pretty nasty."

/too obscure?

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2009-11-29 08:46  

#4  yes Jimmuah, they were drunken commando elephants -- you can recognize dem by the tabs on their large (albeit really wrinkled) shoulders.
Posted by: Perry Stanford White   2009-11-29 06:15  

#3  There have been a spate of Kangaroo attacks here in Oz.

I blame global warming.
Posted by: phil_b   2009-11-29 00:41  

#2  "once you go elk, you never go ....belk?"
Posted by: Frank G   2009-11-29 00:24  

#1  Some years ago I read that Drunk Elephants went on a rampage for exactly the same reason, fermented fuit they had eaten.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2009-11-29 00:23  

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