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| Science & Technology |
| Bra converts to gas-mask, creator wins IgNobel |
| 2009-10-02 |
| Sorry, no pictures. EFL, much nonsense in the world ENGINEERS who invented a brassiere that converts quickly into a gas mask, pathologists who determined that beer bottles can crack your skull even when empty and Irish police officers who mistakenly wrote tickets to "Driver's License" have all won "IgNobel" prizes. Prizes also went to Zimbabwe for issuing banknotes that range in value from one Zimbabwean cent to 100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars, Mexican scientists who made diamonds out of tequila and executives of four Icelandic banks that suffered spectacular collapses. The IgNobel prizes are given out by the Harvard-based humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research. The Public Health prize went to Elena Bodnar of Illinois, who designed and patented a bra that can be quickly converted into a pair of gas masks, one for the brassiere wearer and one to be given to some needy bystander. Not to be outdone, one of Elena's male colleagues is working to perfect the jock strap gas mask. It will only serve one though. "Actually it doesn't serve any! There's nothing here!" "Try turning it around." "Oh. Sorry." Ireland's police won the literature prize from writing more than 50 traffic tickets to a frequent visitor and speeder named Prawo Jazdy. In Polish, this means "driver's license". 50 tickets? It's a wonder there's not an arrest warrant out for this Prawo Jazdy. Pathologist Stephan Bolliger and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland won for a study they did to determine whether an empty beer bottle does more or less damage to the human skull than a full one in a bar fight. "Both suffice in breaking the human skull," Mr Bolliger said. "However, the empty ones are more sturdy. This is because the pressure of the beer, aided by carbonation, makes a full beer bottle explode quickly." Certain Rantburgers have conducted their own experiments with this, I'll wager. Gideon Gono, governor of Zimbabwe's Reserve Bank which is struggling to fight runaway inflation, won an award "for giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers - from very small to very big - by having his bank print bank notes with denominations ranging from one Zimbabwean cent to $100 trillion Zimbabwean dollars". A cherished dream of socialism has been realized, everyone in Zimbabwe is at least a billionaire. |
| Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy |
| #6 Whenever an alert comes up, I'm diving into the nearest bra. Why take chances? |
| Posted by: AlmostAnonymous5839 2009-10-02 20:11 |
| #5 And to be honest the bra/gasmask is somewhat practical if one lives in an area with rockets raining down from time to time, rockets that would have chemicals in them if the Palestinians could get ahold of some. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2009-10-02 13:30 |
| #4 I think the Drivers License one is a bit unfair. I mean how many Irish cops are expected to know Polish, or have a Polish dictionary ready for translation. They should give the guy an extra year for his joke because the perp certainly knew the name was wrong. |
| Posted by: rjschwarz 2009-10-02 13:29 |
| #3 If you use them bottom first they're practically indestructible. Unless your victim's wearing a bra as a gas mask, of course. |
| Posted by: Fred 2009-10-02 12:30 |
| #2 Certain Rantburgers have conducted their own experiments with this, I'll wager. Yep, that was my weapon of choice but I hate to admit it. They might ban beer! |
| Posted by: Lumpy Elmoluck5091 2009-10-02 11:36 |
| #1 Certain Rantburgers have conducted their own experiments with this, I'll wager. I was an unwilling test-subject (on Shore Patrol - ended up with a broken nose). |
| Posted by: Pappy 2009-10-02 08:28 |