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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Dems to Probe Secret CIA Plan to Spy on Enemies |
| 2009-07-15 |
| Scrappleface, more fake than CNN and AP but also more accurate. Please note that this is satire, for now, but give it a year. With Democrats in Congress already alarmed at revelations that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) had a covert scheme to kill terrorist leaders like Usama Bin Laden, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is reportedly set to announce a probe into allegations that the CIA may have also "conspired to conduct espionage operations against America's enemies." Although the "vague" plans to dispatch small CIA teams to hit senior al Qaeda leaders never materialized due to legal, logistical and diplomatic obstacles, current CIA Director Leon E. Panetta cancelled the program in June, and sold several planning documents to the producers of Fox Network's '24′. According to a Pelosi staffer, who spoke on the condition of anonymity due to the top-secret nature of the information he revealed, the CIA has "surreptitiously conducted what amounts to international spy operations without proper notification of its espionage targets, or of the United Nations." The source, who is not authorized to release any information about the probe, said Rep. Pelosi will conduct hearings in August aimed at unmasking what she "has come to believe is a vast global network of covert operatives who make observations, then report findings back to CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia." The Speaker, who has previously accused the CIA of lying to Congress, is said to be "distraught at the notion that her country has violated the trust of governments that might someday be friendly toward the U.S.," according the source who has regular access to confidential documents and notes from private briefings. If the Congressional inquiry reveals evidence that the CIA discriminated against foreign nationals, eavesdropping on them simply because they hate America or plan to attack U.S. targets, the anonymous source said, "Heads will roll, I'm not at liberty to disclose who...you know, until I get the actual secret list." I hear they are also looking into reports that the Navy is working on a high tech device that will sink foreign submarines, WITH THEIR CREWS STILL INSIDE THEM! Oh, the horror! Even worse, the Air Force has reportedly already deployed one or more systems that will destroy airplanes in mid-flight, and they are recruiting college graduates to operate them even as we speak. There is no telling what the Army and Marines are up to these days. |
| Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy |
| #2 Look at the highlighted text at the top. I think "More fake but more accurate" would be an outstanding slogan for a news network. |
| Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain 2009-07-15 15:17 |
| #1 I thought CIA was Ordered to "Spy on Enemies", Isn't that their job description? I mean really, the name tells it all "Central INTELLIGENCE agency". You want them to guess? |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2009-07-15 14:25 |