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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Luxury yachts offer pirate hunting cruises
2009-06-28
Ananova, salt to taste
Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast. Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.
Eegad! Inverse mercenaries! Just how bored are these rich Russkies anyway?
When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.
Not a bad deal on the ammo.
The yachts travel from Djibouti in Somalia to Mombasa in Kenya. The ships deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of just five nautical miles in an attempt to attract the interest of pirates.

"They are worse than the pirates," said Russian yachtsman Vladimir Mironov. "At least the pirates have the decency to take hostages, these people are just paying to commit murder," he continued.
Vladimir just doesn't appreciate the entrepreneurial spirit. There are all kinds of possibilities here. How much could we get for a Talib-hunting safari in Helmand? Any takers?
Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy

#7  Some of the nebbishes at other sites are still being taken in by this. One lazy believer advised me to "google 'To the point news and cruises.' Will show the cruise ship, rooms, guns, etc."

I did, and it is a copy of the hoax site, right down to the same testimonials. Pics are different though. I guess that clinches it. I mean how could you possibly have an image of a full-auto AK if you didn't have one in your possession?
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2009-06-28 23:29  

#6  Damn! It would have made a perfect anniversary present for the Tsar.
Posted by: Cornsilk Blondie   2009-06-28 17:28  

#5  That's the one, Atomic Conspiracy. I just submitted both links to UrbanLegends@about.com.
Posted by: trailing wife   2009-06-28 17:08  

#4  Admittedly, fooling journalists is like fooling puppies, but I thought the site was rather nicely done.

Does seem like an excellent business opportunity, though.
Posted by: SteveS   2009-06-28 17:04  

#3  Is this it?
Somali Cruises: Fun For The Whole Family! Most cruises offer a mini-bar. We offer a mounted Mini-Gun

Testimonals:
I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!" -- Lars , Hamburg Germany

"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES: 0 - PASSENGERS: 32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English" -- Donald, Salt Lake city Utah USA

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a drunken'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam" -- 'chopper' Dan, Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot! This is a must do." -- Zeke, Springs Kentucky USA


If so, it is Manbeef and the Bonsai kittens all over again, just not as convincing.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2009-06-28 16:16  

#2  We beat the Ananova story by a few weeks, Atomic Conspiracy, with a link to the actual web site advertising the cruises. If it's a hoax, someone put some thought into it.
Posted by: trailing wife   2009-06-28 15:55  

#1  I knew 14 bucks for a hundred rounds of 7.62X39 was too good to be true.

To nobody's surprise (I hope) this appears to be a hoax. The same particulars were featured in a joke e-mail that was circulating about a month ago.

We have a much better offer for those who want a crack at the bad guys: Go to your local recruiting office and volunteer for combat arms. It's free! Clothing, equipment, transportation, medical care and life insurance furnished, all at no cost to you!
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2009-06-28 14:31  

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