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| Good morning | |
| 2009-03-22 | |
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| Posted by:Fred |
| #12 I wanted to say hello :) |
| Posted by: jasonbeniorzy 2009-03-22 18:57 |
| #11 That man is a fantastic writer. His On a Wealth of Nations was very surprising. Anyone who can bring humor to Adam Smith has a special talent. |
| Posted by: Mike N. 2009-03-22 13:38 |
| #10 Messicans over-runned Ohio it's sad. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2009-03-22 12:25 |
| #9 Sorry about the dupe. Faber College screwed us all up. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2009-03-22 12:14 |
| #8 It's been a strange damn ride. "Tales of Uncle Mike” began as the editorial for the March, 1977 issue. If you didn’t see that, you’re shit out of luck, and have to send us $1.50 to get one. Or send us a picture of your wife or girl friend in flagrante delicto with a pony. That won’t get you a March ‘77 National Lampoon, but it will make your life more interesting later on when you’re rich and respectable and you remember that we have the photograph in our possession. Anyway, these particular “Tales of Uncle Mike” aren’t about Uncle Mike at all. But it’s the same_____, Ohio, where I went to college a dozen years ago or so, and where Uncle Mike was a math instructor, and where we both had more fun than we’re likely to have again soon, says the doctor. How Uncle Mike Met His First Wife Tammy Omertti, Uncle Mike’s first wife, was a tough lady. She always carried a .38 in her purse—something I’m sure Uncle Mike didn’t know the night he met her. She was pretty, too, and built USDA Prime. Uncle Mike used to drink in a place called Mac and Flo’s, down an alley off ______’s main street. In fact, it was there that I met him myself. He was out on the bar’s little porch, banging his head against a cinder block wall. When somebody introduced us, Mike stopped for two seconds and said, “Hi. How are you?” civil as you please, and went right back to banging his head. He says he doesn’t remember why. One night, Tammy and a girl friend wandered into Mac’s while Mike was on a toot, and when Uncle Mike got a look at Tammy, he almost fell down dead. She was a dream come true, he says, an Italian—which Mike is—vision of paradise. Or would have been if she’d had a plate of spaghetti carbonara with her. (That’s Uncle Mike’s comment, not mine.) Anyway, he was in love, so he walked over to her table and said, “I got fifteen dollars. Wanna fuck?” She threw a bottle at him, and he went running away, laughing and howling and tipping over chairs. But he wasn’t so happy when he got back to the other end of the bar, and for the next half hour he stood there, looking sheepish and getting drunker until, at last, he bought two quarts of beer and took them over and gave them to Tammy and her friend. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he said, “I’m really sorry. I want to apologize. I really do. I’m sorry that I said that about the fifteen dollars. I only got ten!!!” There was such a commotion that Vinny, who owned the place, had to come out from behind the bar with his ball bat, and Uncle Mike and Tammy were married two months later. "Tales of Uncle Mike” began as the editorial for the March, 1977 issue. If you didn’t see that, you’re shit out of luck, and have to send us $1.50 to get one. Or send us a picture of your wife or girl friend in flagrante delicto with a pony. That won’t get you a March ‘77 National Lampoon, but it will make your life more interesting later on when you’re rich and respectable and you remember that we have the photograph in our possession. Anyway, these particular “Tales of Uncle Mike” aren’t about Uncle Mike at all. But it’s the same_____, Ohio, where I went to college a dozen years ago or so, and where Uncle Mike was a math instructor, and where we both had more fun than we’re likely to have again soon, says the doctor. How Uncle Mike Met His First Wife Tammy Omertti, Uncle Mike’s first wife, was a tough lady. She always carried a .38 in her purse—something I’m sure Uncle Mike didn’t know the night he met her. She was pretty, too, and built USDA Prime. Uncle Mike used to drink in a place called Mac and Flo’s, down an alley off ______’s main street. In fact, it was there that I met him myself. He was out on the bar’s little porch, banging his head against a cinder block wall. When somebody introduced us, Mike stopped for two seconds and said, “Hi. How are you?” civil as you please, and went right back to banging his head. He says he doesn’t remember why. One night, Tammy and a girl friend wandered into Mac’s while Mike was on a toot, and when Uncle Mike got a look at Tammy, he almost fell down dead. She was a dream come true, he says, an Italian—which Mike is—vision of paradise. Or would have been if she’d had a plate of spaghetti carbonara with her. (That’s Uncle Mike’s comment, not mine.) Anyway, he was in love, so he walked over to her table and said, “I got fifteen dollars. Wanna fuck?” She threw a bottle at him, and he went running away, laughing and howling and tipping over chairs. But he wasn’t so happy when he got back to the other end of the bar, and for the next half hour he stood there, looking sheepish and getting drunker until, at last, he bought two quarts of beer and took them over and gave them to Tammy and her friend. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” he said, “I’m really sorry. I want to apologize. I really do. I’m sorry that I said that about the fifteen dollars. I only got ten!!!” There was such a commotion that Vinny, who owned the place, had to come out from behind the bar with his ball bat, and Uncle Mike and Tammy were married two months later. Holler if you got the tale of Uncle Mike and the dynamite. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2009-03-22 12:12 |
| #7 Ah, William Shatner, what a fall, from Starship commander to Lawyer shill. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2009-03-22 11:37 |
| #6 "1993 - The Intel Corporation ships the first Pentium chips (80586), featuring a 60 MHz clock speed, 100+ MIPS, and a 64 bit data path" Pentium Logic: 2+2 = 5 for very large values of 2 |
| Posted by: Galactic Coordinator Cretch4958 2009-03-22 11:08 |
| #5 Yep Walt. A portrait camera dismounted and with the lens bellows retracted? Altho the viewfinder and the hand-straps kinda make it look like some weird Hybrid Speed Graphic. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2009-03-22 08:25 |
| #4 Lorraine Miller - B Movie Oaters But she does provide a Daily Gam shot  Lorraine stretched herself for her role in "The White Gorilla" |
| Posted by: GolfBravoUSMC 2009-03-22 02:54 |
| #3 http://www.warhammeralliance.com/forums/member.php?u=132925 ACTRESS ERICA DURANCE, OcwYFf, http://www.warhammeralliance.com/forums/member.php?u=132926 IZABELLA MIKO GALLERY, 4uUNRs, http://www.warhammeralliance.com/forums/member.php?u=132924 HILARY SWANK PICS, hXU0bx, http://www.warhammeralliance.com/forums/member.php?u=132927 JENIFER ANISTON BRAD, RpTaND, http://www.warhammeralliance.com/forums/member.php?u=132928 ACTRESS ALLISON MACK, zn6bIj, |
| Posted by: apaniaexpancy 2009-03-22 02:01 |
| #2 Happy Birthday: Gen. James M. Gavin - died 1990 (82) "Operation Husky - Operation Overlord - Operation Market Garden" (Now) Karl Malden - died 2000 (97) " A Streetcar Named Desire - One-Eyed Jacks" (Now?) Virginia Grey - died 2004 (87) "Hullabaloo - many supporting roles" (Now) Werner Klemperer - died 2000 (80) "Colonel Klink - Hogan's Heroes " (Now) William Shatner - 78 "Captain James T. Kirk - Starship USS Enterprise" (Now) May Britt - 76 "Mrs. Sammy Davis - The Young Lions " (Now?) Lena Olin - 54 "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" (Now) Reese Witherspoon - 33 "Legally Blonde" (Now) This Day in History 1630 - Massachusetts Bay Colony outlaws the possession of cards, dice, and gaming tables 1933 - President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs into law a bill legalizing the sale of beer and wine. 1978 - Karl Wallenda of the The Flying Wallendas dies after falling off a tight-rope between two hotels in San Juan, Puerto Rico. 1993 - The Intel Corporation ships the first Pentium chips (80586), featuring a 60 MHz clock speed, 100+ MIPS, and a 64 bit data path |
| Posted by: GolfBravoUSMC 2009-03-22 01:28 |
| #1 a 5x7 camera in her hands? |
| Posted by: 3dc 2009-03-22 00:36 |
