| Submit your comments on this article |
| Africa Horn |
| The Pirates of Puntland: Actually Pretty Cool |
| 2009-02-11 |
| I come back from sick leave and there’s a whole pile of wars in my “in” box, like one of those old office cartoons. Still got to write up the dustup in Gaza, and then there’s the so-called final victory of the Sri Lankan Army over the LTTE. But for sentimental reasons I’ve got to give first mention to my boyeez, the Somali pirates. This is what democracy looks like: the Somali pirates. This is what anti-globalization looks like when you do it for real, not like deadheads following the WTO from city to city, banker groupies in black masks and red armbands. Not only are the Somali pirates doin’ it for themselves, they’re like a spotlight on all the most interesting stories out there. Remember that Ukrainian freighter the pirates grabbed a few months ago? That freighter was veeeeeeery quietly carrying 33 Russian tanks and a few thousand AKs, with ammo, to Mombasa in Kenya. But it wasn’t the Kenyans who wanted all those Russian tanks. It was the Sudan People’s Liberation Movement, the gang that runs Southern Sudan right now, after using the Darfur distraction to force a ceasefire with those Arab hotheads in Khartoum. It seems the SPLM, a sensible bunch who’ve had years of experience in Khartoum treachery, decided that “the best way to keep peace is to prepare for war.” Not that that slogan means anything, actually. The best way to keep the peace—no such things. Too many variables. All those pundit-speak clichés are crap. You can find counterexamples to all of them. But knowing the sort of scum who rule Sudan, it just seems sensible to get as many tanks and aircraft as you can. In third-world vs. third-world wars like the one in Sudan, that sort of mid-price Soviet hardware works perfectly well. It’s only when you go up against a first-world AF that it turns into scrap iron. And we owe all this cool dirt on how the Sudan war’s going to our friends the Somali pirates. Nobody would have known that this ship was sending all those tanks to southern Sudan until they grabbed it. That’s what I mean when I say these guys are natural stars, born hams, scenery-chewers. They’re not in it for the publicity, they’re strictly about the money, but they just can’t help stealing the show. Like today: they officially handed back that Ukrainian freighter and collected their 3.2 million dollar ransom. But that wasn’t enough: they did it in style. The pirates zoomed out to the drop zone in their little boats, right in view of two USN warships, collected their loot, counted it—I love that part, that they actually counted out the money, which must’ve weighed a few kilos, right under the guns of the world’s most expensive navy—then waved goodbye and zoomed off home, to turn their booty into SUVs, satellite dishes and extra wives. I hear the price of virgins has zoomed in the most “pirate-infested” parts of Puntland since these multimillion dollar ransoms started pouring in. This is the golden age, in Puntland. And why shouldn’t they have their little fun time? It’s not like there’ve been a lot of golden ages in Puntland. It’s kind of hard to feel too sorry for the oil companies, Russian arms dealers, or other sleazy fat cats whose insurance is going up. Especially when you remember that these pirates used to be fisherman, never bothering anybody, until the Asian trawlers took advantage of the fact that Somalia has no authorities, no government, to scoop every last sand-dab out of the fishing grounds. If you saw that happen, and all you had left was guns and little boats, and you had to watch the wonderful parade of global commerce going by flipping you the bird for a few years, you might start thinking Jack-Sparrow thoughts your own self. Guys, this is why the Pirates of Puntland exist. I bolded it to make sure. They're not some sort of Bond-movie evil villians, as much as everyone around here likes to shout "hang them from the yardarm". There are no fish for them to catch because oceangoing trawlers from Taiwan cleaned out the sea (and I mean, did a great job at it, too). Pirates are some of the most democratic folks around, too. It’s too good to last, of course. When the costs really start biting, we’ll go in—no use letting the Euros try to do it like we’re doing now, they don’t have the will to pull the trigger any more—and we’ll turn a few boats into floating splinters, and the good times will be over for Puntland. Too bad, too. Once the pirates are wiped out or chased back to their little burrows on the coast, people will start missing them and realizing how great they were, what goddamn heroes, actual reallife Robin Hoods they were. That’s how we do it in the big world: kill’em, then make movies about how great they were. Just ask the Sioux or the Highlanders. Yup. Anyway, go ahead and continue with the "die pirate scum, hang them from the yardarm" comments that usually populate this site. |
| Posted by:gromky |
| #11 Woof woof! |
| Posted by: .5MT 2009-02-11 19:55 |
| #10 By this kind of absurd logic, we should be dissing Fred for wasting his time running Rantburg, when he could have turned his his hand to internet banking fraud when he was made redundant. After all, the banks usually cover out losses. |
| Posted by: Bulldog 2009-02-11 17:23 |
| #9 oceangoing trawlers from Taiwan cleaned out the sea Taiwan? Not Japan? It was the Japanese trawlers, I thought, that was making a serious effort to clear-fish the Mediterranean a few years ago. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2009-02-11 16:35 |
| #8 Piracy may be romantic and the poor fishermen screwed by the Taiwanese or whoever may resonate, but this is a very serious problem that will get rapidly worse. BTW, if you want to assign blame, the fault lies with the UN, which done everything it can to dcrew up the place, from creating the artificial state of Somalia in the first place, to pushing and pouring money into a so called government that has so little legitimacy that it can't even enter the country. Then of course there is the morass of International Law, which prevents UN member states from doing anything about piracy, except being forced to offer them asylum as the Dutch are about to find out. I'm not one of the 'hangem from the yardarm' types, but I do see a serious growing problem that the only feasible solution involves considerable violence, either at sea or in Puntland itself. |
| Posted by: phil_b 2009-02-11 16:16 |
| #7 Nice dismissal. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2009-02-11 16:10 |
| #6 The pirates don't harm their captives. The crews are innocents, to be sure, but far worse things happen to innocent folks the world 'round. In addition, the total number of people affected is quite small. |
| Posted by: gromky 2009-02-11 15:49 |
| #5 The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard A good read. |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2009-02-11 15:44 |
| #4 Eltoroverde: I doubt these pirates are following the same traditions the ones in the Carribean did. More like "They're not from my extended family, I can pay a mullah to declare them infidel even if they're a moslem from the Philipines, therefore they're not human, and I need to find a way to make money off of them, whether by holding them hostage or sending them off to the butcher." |
| Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain 2009-02-11 15:11 |
| #3 ItÂ’s kind of hard to feel too sorry for the oil companies, Russian arms dealers, or other sleazy fat cats whose insurance is going up. It's not the owners and shippers I'm concerned about. It's the crews. Mariners generally don't make a hell of a lot of money (we'll exclude U.S. and certain European shipping companies and flags). And they're the ones who are hostages. Bet you didn't think about them when you you wrote up your heroes-of-the-sea, didja? |
| Posted by: Pappy 2009-02-11 14:42 |
| #2 To echo gromky's point, pirates embraced democratic principles far earlier and with greater enthusiasm than many of their contemporaries. For example, the captain of most pirate ships was chosen by majority vote amongst the crew, and could be replaced at a moment's notice should his leadership and skippering skills prove less than worthy. It is also true that in most instances, the crew of the ship voted to determine the vessel's course of action (where to sail and plunder, whether to attack or not, etc.). Rarely was the decision left solely to the captain to make. |
| Posted by: eltoroverde 2009-02-11 13:32 |
| #1 I love this article. I actually envy the pirates. I would TRUELY love to be able to join them. They are living life while I'm watching it. |
| Posted by: Yosemite Sam 2009-02-11 13:21 |