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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Clinically Depressed Poodle Mauls Former French President Chirac (NOT satire!) |
| 2009-01-22 |
| ormer French President Jacques Chirac was rushed to a hospital after being mauled by his pet dog who is being treated for depression, in a dramatic incident that rattled the ex-president's wife. The couple's white Maltese poodle, called Sumo, has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks" despite receiving treatment with anti-depressants, Chirac's wife Bernadette said. "If you only knew! I had a dramatic day yesterday," she told VSD magazine. "Sumo bit my husband!" Mrs. Chirac, 74, did not reveal where the former president was bitten, but said, "the dog went for him for no apparent reason." "We were aware the animal was unpredictable and is being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly but he is certain to make a full recovery in weeks." Chirac was taken to a hospital in Paris where he was treated as an outpatient and later sent home. The 76-year-old was president of France for 12 years until 2007. First Barney the White Dog puts the bite on media droids, and now this. Is there some kind of global right-wing canine conspiracy? My own wonder-dog, Roswell the Atomic Poodle, isn't talking but I suspect he might be one of the ringleaders. |
| Posted by:Atomic Conspiracy |
| #13 has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks" Bullshit. Chirac was involved - there's nothing unprovoked about it. Wouldn't you attack if you had to live with Chirac? Poor doggie. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2009-01-22 19:42 |
| #12 Now the poor dog will have to get rabies shots. |
| Posted by: DMFD 2009-01-22 19:39 |
| #11 This story has about 18 different levels of pathetic fucks in it. |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2009-01-22 14:50 |
| #10 should've named the dog Karma. |
| Posted by: Andy Ulusoque aka Broadhead6 2009-01-22 12:32 |
| #9 has a history of frenzied fits and became increasingly prone to making "vicious, unprovoked attacks" |
| Posted by: GolfBravoUSMC 2009-01-22 12:30 |
#8  Approves. For him to poop on. |
| Posted by: Mizzou Mafia 2009-01-22 12:23 |
| #7 Is there some kind of global right-wing canine conspiracy? No |
| Posted by: Chomps 2009-01-22 12:21 |
| #6 You're kidding, tu. That little fluff ball mauled him? |
| Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2009-01-22 12:07 |
| #5 Pic of the killer pooch here... http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/01/21/article-0-00712B7A00000258-678_468x286.jpg |
| Posted by: tu3031 2009-01-22 12:05 |
| #4 The old fool couldn't even recognize the danger of a mad dog in his own home. How was he supposed to recognize the threat from all those Algerians and Moroccans he let into France? |
| Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2009-01-22 12:01 |
| #3 Had it been a standard poodle , our buddy Chirac might not have gotten off so easily. |
| Posted by: Underdog 2009-01-22 11:33 |
| #2 If it were a German breed Chirac would have surrendered. |
| Posted by: Beavis 2009-01-22 11:28 |
| #1 If I were a poodle I, too, would take it personally if I found out my humans were the ones responsible for turning France into what it is. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2009-01-22 11:19 |
