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-Lurid Crime Tales-

Nebraska Rewrites Child Drop-Off Law

2008-10-21

Age Limit of 3 Days Imposed After Parents Abandon Older Kids, Teens Under Safe-Haven Statute

Being of a subtil turn of mind as I am, I can see that the problem with Nebraska's drop-off law isn't the occasional 22-month-old, but rather the teenagers who're starting to clutter the state's emergency rooms. The smaller children stand a good chance of adoption, despite the obstacles placed in the path of potential parents, so long as it's clearly understood that the blood parents give up all rights to the child, to include the "right" to hound him/her/it in later years in search of reconciliation on Doctor Phil or Jerry Springer.

The sullen pimpleface, with his headphones, his 12-pound sneakers, his pants hanging around mid-thigh, his tee-shirt with its "Fcuk Everyone!" legend, and his solemn conviction that his half-formed mind not only has all the answers but has found them boring, just isn't going to be easy to place. He's going to be even harder to place if he's manged to get his neck tatooed. His female counterpart, over-made up, with her jail bait costume emphasizing the fat roll around her waist, the look in her eyes suggesting all the mental hyperactivity of a cord of hardwood, will witness a similar lack of demand, and will probably actually be harder to find a home for if she deigns to open her mouth.

The plight of the domestic mall maiden and her skate-boarding male counterpart do point up a serious problem with our society. Because teenagers are herd creatures, we see again and again the phenomenon of the offspring of perfectly good parents turning into monsters as the combination of their hormones and their socialization at school combine in much the same manner a lit match combines with a five-gallon can of hi-test. The child's years from about 12 and a half through 18 and a half become something like a domestic Gettysburg, with the parents burning through large quantities of money to amuse their brats, to clean up their juvenile court messes, and to deal with their own emotional and social stresses, usually to end up divorced and penniless.

The solution is simple and I may have mentioned it here before: post-natal abortion up until the age of 23. Rather than dealing with the nasty little beasts, merely take a coat hanger to them at any point prior to full-fledged adultery and start over again. You've got to admit, it's more fair than aborting innocents, before they've had the chance to actually buy a skateboard, get a tatoo, or slap grandmaw around. And the very sight of that coat hanger hanging over the fireplace will do more to modify the little darlings' behavior than the threat of military school ever will.

(AP) Nebraska state senators and Gov. Dave Heineman have agreed to put a strict age limit in the controversial safe-haven law to prevent more drop-offs of older children at hospitals. Forty of the state Legislature's 49 senators have agreed to amend the law so it only applies to infants up to 3 days old, Speaker of the Legislature Mike Flood said during a news conference on Monday. The age cap would change Nebraska's safe-haven law from the most lenient in the country to one of the most restrictive.

At least 18 children, the youngest 22 months and many of them teens, have been abandoned since the law took effect in July. Nebraska's law is the only one in the country that lets anyone leave a child as old as 18 at a state-licensed hospital without fear of prosecution for the abandonment. Most states let parents and guardians drop off children who are up to a month old at hospitals or other safe institutions. Sixteen states have a 3-day-old age cap such as the one agreed to in Nebraska.

Every state has a safe-haven law, which is meant to prevent infants from being dumped or abandoned in dangerous places by mothers who don't want them.

The Nebraska law has had "serious, unintended consequences," Heineman said. "This law needs to be changed to focus on infants."

The rash of drop-offs included a child from Iowa and a Michigan child who was driven from there by his mother. The events put Nebraska in the type of national spotlight that makes politicians wince. "Saturday Night Live" poked fun at the state this past weekend.

Asked about the attention, Todd Landry, an official with the state's Department of Health and Human Services, replied: "Decisions we make are based on good public policy, not a 'Saturday Night Live' skit."

Heineman stuck by previous comments that he would prefer not to call a special session to immediately change the law before the regular session starts in January. But he provided a clue about what it would take for him to change his mind.

"If circumstances dictate, particularly if we have several more from out of state, I won't hesitate to make that call" for a special session, Heineman said.

Should Heineman not call a special session, Flood said, lawmakers would quickly change the law, probably within the first couple weeks of the session.

In the meantime, Nebraska officials are trying to prevent more drop-offs.

Heineman has authorized Health and Human Services to spend up to $100,000 promoting a help line for parents and guardians.

The United Way operates the help line, which can be reached by calling 211. If there is a flood of calls, up to $200,000 in state money could be used to provide more phone lines.

The state is also sending letters to all adoptive parents and guardians of children who are former state wards. The letter provides phone numbers, including 211, and Web sites of agencies that can help them if they are having problems with their children.

The letter does not mention that Nebraska has a safe-haven law.

Posted by:Beavis

#3 "'Saturday Night Live' poked fun at the state this past weekend."

Which speaks volumes - none of it good - about those clowns.

Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2008-10-21 20:12

#2 I'm glad they are getting this straightened out because every time I talk to my Mom lately she is going on and on about how lovely Nebraska is this time of year and wouldn't it be nice to visit Omaha, it's only 16 hours by car, yadda yadda yadda.

Posted by: SteveS 2008-10-21 16:09

#1 Oh, Fred. I agree, but only if there is a matching parental ... what would the adult version of abortion be? ... whatchamacallum, for those adults who turn out to be entirely unsuited to having small people in their power. I had a temporary daughter for that reason, and while by dint of a great deal of coaching the mother appears be salvageable, I fear the father is not amenable to attitude or behaviour modification by anything less than a flame thrower.

Posted by: trailing wife 2008-10-21 14:53

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