Out and About- December 18, 1998 Frank waited until he was "47 years and 3 months old" to come out of the closet. By that time, he says, "I was pretty sure that if I came out I would not lose my job in Congress. I thought it would diminish my influence in Congress. It did not." His base in suburban Boston, in fact, is so safe that he hasn't had to make a campaign commercial for TV in 16 years.
He thinks the average American is "less homophobic than he thinks he's supposed to be and more racist than he's willing to admit."
Frank credits President Clinton for doing "anything a president could do by his own executive action to fight anti-gay and lesbian prejudice." But his "biggest disappointment" with Clinton is on the "don't ask, don't tell" issue of gays in the armed forces, which he regards as a meaningless compromise. "I think because of his own problems, obviously with Vietnam, the one area of public policy where he almost always caved is the military."
Unlike other aspects of his private life, Frank warms to the subject of his homosexuality, becomes softer and less irritable as he talks about it. He smiles and jokes and is generally more cordial.
He recently broke up with Herb Moses, whom he referred to as his "lover," after a relationship of more than 10 years. The two are still friends.
Frank delights in telling stories about their experiences. Once at a charity ball, a woman asked them to stop dancing together. "It was going to be a fast dance and it became a slow dance and we weren't very good at it. The music changed on us in the middle. There may be some people who were uncomfortable but we just said, 'Look, we're not.' Our rule was very simple. We almost never did anything to make a point. But we never not did anything to make somebody else's point. We just decided we're going to live the way we want to live and if that bothered people that was their problem."
They made an exception once at a White House Christmas party when they saw then-Rep. Bill Dannemeyer (R-Calif.), "who was the arch, foolish homophobe," Frank says. "I noticed Bill Dannemeyer staring at us and I ran my fingers through Herb's hair, which, you know, I never did in public. And he looked a little sort of mildly puzzled, but then he kind of snuggled up to me. That was more to annoy Bill Dannemeyer."
He is still amused by the "spouse pin" issue. Congress distributes these pins for parking and other amenities, and Herb Moses had one. But "a bunch of right-wingers" demanded that Gingrich rescind the perk for Moses. Ultimately, Congress issued him a "domestic partner" card instead. "Herb may have the only domestic partner card. And his will expire in three weeks."
Frank says he is dating someone new but he's not yet ready "to be pinned." He doesn't know whether this will become another committed relationship, but he did take his new friend to the White House congressional Christmas party last week.
Before her son came out of the closet 11 years ago, Barney Frank's mother didn't have a clue he was gay. Barney had dated women, though whenever things got serious he would break up with them.
"He said he had something important to tell me and I was prepared for the worst," she says. But "to me that was not the worst. I was a little down, but not for long. I mean, he's still Barney."