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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Scandal! Bigfoot a Fake! |
| 2008-08-19 |
| I'm shocked! Shocked, I tells ya! So it really was a rubber suit. How do they know? I mean, he's Bigfoot. Maybe he's some kinda rubber mutant... The excitement over a supposed Bigfoot body that built all last week, culminating Friday in a circus-like press conference in Palo Alto, Calif., collapsed like a wet soufflé over the weekend as an independent investigator found out it was all fake. Awwwww. And we all had such high hopes... SearchingforBigfoot.com owner Tom Biscardi paid an "undisclosed sum" to Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two Georgia men who say they found the body, for their frozen corpse and the privilege of trotting them out in front of TV cameras. At the same time, Biscardi sent self-described "Sasquatch detective" Steve Kulls back to Georgia to check out the body. Good morning, sir. Steve Kulls, Sasquatch detective. Oh. Hi. Kulls, it's safe to say, was severely disappointed. Oh, well. Keep looking, Steve. You'll find em. We're all pulling for ya. The upshot? The real Bigfoot, once found, is now missing. So are Whitton, Dyer and Biscardi's money. What was that saying about a fool and his money? In a long statement on SearchingforBigfoot.com, Kulls reveals what he found early Sunday morning Eastern time as the body thawed out. "I extracted some [hair] from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns," Kulls writes. "We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair." Oh, good. They have procedures. That makes me feel better. Kulls called Biscardi in California, who told him to heat the body to speed up thawing. It's in your procedurs, dammit! Do I have to think of ebverything! "Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head," Kulls continues. "I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign." Was that Bigfoot's head or his? Then came the clincher."Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. ... I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot." ...and, boy, did I feel like an asshole. That jibes with what Jerry Parrino, owner of Internet Halloween-costume retailer TheHorrorDome.com, told FOXNews.com last week. "It definitely looks like our [Sasquatch] costume," Parrino said after viewing photos of the body. But, Jerry, you're not a professional Bigfootologist. Leave this to the professionals. The Biscardi team immediately went into crisis mode. Biscardi called Whitton and Dyer at their California hotel. They admitted it was a hoax and agreed to sign a promissory note at a meeting set for 8 a.m. Pacific time at the hotel. But when Biscardi got there, he "found that they had left." Damn. If ya can't trust Bigfoot hunters, who can you trust? "At this time action is being instigated against the perpetrators of this fraud," Kulls writes on Biscardi's Web site. "On behalf of myself I can say with certainty Matthew Whitton and Ricky Dyer [are] not the best Bigfoot trackers in the world!" Scam artist on scam artist crime is an ugly thing... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #18 Boy, Afghanistan + IRAN-CONTRA + Panama + DESERT SHIELD/STORM + DARPA,etc. now BIGFOOT > guess GUAM will have to be the one - again - to prove or disprove BIGFOOT HARRY's existence. Ditto for NESSIE + CHUPACABRA + ........... And now you know, VIRGINIA, AGAIN, why Rambo's COLONEL TROUTMAN demands "GET ME THAT GUY/WHATS-HIS-NAME FROM GUAM"!? IFF ONLY PAULA "DELILAH/HOW ABOUT SOME INFORMATION PLEASE" ABDUL CAN LEARN TO STOP KICKING DADDY'S FAV COCONUT PLANTS! JIMMY STEWART > D *** NG IT, WOMAN, DON'T YOU HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER YOUR DAUGHTERS! |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2008-08-19 19:37 |
| #17 mojo, What's the plural? Bigfoots? Bigfeet? Bigfooti? It was so confusing over the years mojo because everyone used their own woid to stand in for the plural, that we had to standardize a single woid not very long ago. We finally picked the single woid "plural" to mean multiple bigfoots. ~:) /gawd that waz bad |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2008-08-19 18:34 |
| #16 I'm totally shocked. |
| Posted by: lotp 2008-08-19 18:34 |
| #15 Right Away Abdominal Snowman. That is, in Big Foot Years. As to the ratio 'tween Human and Bigfoot years, you'll have to wait for Dear Gina to get back from the Yeti Conference... see: Bigfoot ageing is another one of Gina's areas of expertise... not one of mine thank you very much. ~:) |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2008-08-19 18:22 |
| #14 Oh, and Red Dawg, I do have one question about Bigfoot. When's he repaying me that eighty dollars I loaned him last year? |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2008-08-19 18:13 |
| #13 What's the plural? Bigfoots? Bigfeet? Bigfooti? |
| Posted by: mojo 2008-08-19 17:41 |
| #12 One New Fact I can share with all here at Rantburg.. All Bigfoots carry crappy Geico Direct motorcycle insurance. |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2008-08-19 15:24 |
| #11 This must be the third or fourth hoax that Biscardi's been involved in over the years. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2008-08-19 15:15 |
| #10 lollypop: #8 How do bigfoots communicate ? Do they hunt in packs or solo ? Do they use any tools ? Dear lollypop, ~:) Ima so glad you asked Us. Those three area of expertise, Bigfoot Communication, Bigfoot Hunting, Bigfoot Tools Use are all Gina's fields of study and Doctoral Research. I will be happy to submit them to her next week when she gets back from the Far East Yeti Conference. thankyouverymuch ~:) |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2008-08-19 15:10 |
| #9 Mystery solved. It was Ed Asner. I just had to tape my kidneys back together, I was laughing so hard. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2008-08-19 14:17 |
| #8 How do bigfoots communicate ? Do they hunt in packs or solo ? Do they use any tools ? |
| Posted by: lollypop 2008-08-19 14:14 |
| #7 Scandal! Bigfoot a Fake! No.. No... No.. It can't be TRUE! My girlfriend and I just quit our jobs so we could see Big FOOT before we die... *sniff* We had even gassed up the Station Wagon and packed it full of Provisions for our visit. You see my girlfriend [Gina] and I have spent a lifetime collecting genuine Big Foot artifacts and we are board certified experts with graduate degrees from Big Foot University. Need Proof of our expertise? Go ahead ask any question/s about Big Foot. ~:) |
| Posted by: Red Dawg 2008-08-19 12:52 |
| #6 It looks like Abdominal Snowman has pulled off another last-minute body-snatching-and-switching. He's good. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2008-08-19 11:52 |
| #5 Mystery solved. It was Ed Asner. |
| Posted by: ed 2008-08-19 11:47 |
| #4 Any fool willing to part with his money for a bigfoot body deserves to be conned. |
| Posted by: john frum 2008-08-19 11:41 |
| #3 One of the guys is a sheriff's deputy isn't he? He's got some splaining to do back home. How exactly did they plan to pull this off again? |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2008-08-19 11:35 |
| #2 Mercy! I mean, if you can't count on Bigfoot, what's left in this world to believe in? |
| Posted by: Mike 2008-08-19 11:32 |
| #1 This is too convenient. I smell a coverup. Next they'll be claiming me there's no Yeti or Loch Ness Monster either. I bet the gray aliens are behind it;) |
| Posted by: Spot 2008-08-19 11:23 |