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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Darwin Nominee: Robber Pulls Piece, Shoots Himself Dead
2008-06-20
'Nuff said.
A 19-year-old man accidentally shot and killed himself Tuesday morning while he was attempting to rob a Grand Prairie home, authorities said.
'Gimme yer dough! [BANG!] ... and call me an ambulance!'
Cameron Sands, 19, of Fort Worth kicked in the door of the house and then shot himself in the stomach as he pulled a gun out of his pants to shoot the homeowner, Grand Prairie police said. The homeowner was not injured.
'Okay. You're an ambulance.'
After Mr. Sands shot himself, he dropped the gun and ran out of the home.
'Blood-soaked sneakers don't fail me now!'
Police found his body around 5:30 a.m. in the driveway of the home in the 2800 block Garden Grove Road, said Lt. John Brimmer, a Grand Prairie police spokesman.
'Hello? Is this the police? There's a blood-soaked body in my driveway. Wouldja mind hauling it away? I can't get my car out!'
“This is the first that I’ve heard of a robbery suspect killing himself as he is drawing a gun out of his waist band,” Lt. Brimmer said. “The criminal evidence points to that. It certainly isn’t common.” The Tarrant County Medical Examiner has ruled the death an accident.
...and so we bid a a not so fond farewell to Cameron "Quick Draw" Sands.
Posted by:mojo

#14  MOJO.. way funny INLINE!! :)

*****************************

#11 Probably thought he was Napoleon and blew his Boneapart.

...DAT PUN WAZ SO BAD Deacon.. that I groaned for like 20 minutes..

Now the actual story made my b.. B..Boneapart ..Brain hurt just thinking about it...

btw if dat happens to youse please make sure dat you don't rub on any Ultra Strength Bengay®!

/ lol, nice name...

NOT.. for a pain preparation!
Posted by: RD   2008-06-20 23:23  

#13  Go to your room, Deacon. --->



(ROFLMAO)
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2008-06-20 18:10  

#12  A few years ago a sheriff in a nearby county had baby Glock in his front pants pocket. He got Glock tangled up with his keys and had an unintentional discharge, i.e. he shot himself in the leg.

We also had our version of this Darwin nominee a couple of days ago. A guy robbed a local bank but forgot to gas up and ran out of gas down the road a short piece and was easily caught. Maybe his plan was to rob the bank and then gas up since he now had some money but ran out of gas before he could find a filling station.
Posted by: JohnQC   2008-06-20 18:09  

#11  Probably thought he was Napoleon and blew his Boneapart.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2008-06-20 17:45  

#10  "Hello; Martha Stewart help line."

"Maybe you can help me. I live in Grand Prarie and I have a rather unusual problem."

"That's what we at the Martha Stewart help line are for. Why don't you explain your problem. This call may be recorded for quality control purposes."

"Well, I have this rather large bloodstain in my concrete driveway. It has dried and just spraying it with the hose doesn't affect it."

"How terrible, did you husband cut himself or was it from cleaning fish?"

" Neither, this little bastard broke into my housem but then ran away. And I guess he felt so bad about what he ahd done, he gut shot himself and died. Blood and small intenstine bits and pieces all over. Some even splattered onto my Prius."

"Well this is unusaul, but if you mix a strong solution of TSP with vinegar, it should work. Or at least smell really, really bad."

"Thanks, you've been a big help."

"No Problem, that's what the Martha Stewart help line is for."

"Or there is one more thing, is the blood on my Prius corrosive?"
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2008-06-20 15:05  

#9  In the UK the homeowners would assuredly be facing charges.
Posted by: xbalanke   2008-06-20 13:58  

#8  Blame Fred, Darth...
Posted by: mojo   2008-06-20 13:15  

#7  Good Stuff.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2008-06-20 11:52  

#6  Don'tcha just love a happy ending?
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2008-06-20 10:46  

#5  You owe me a new keyboard, mojo!

Ow... coffee ... burning ... sinus...
Posted by: DarthVader   2008-06-20 09:48  

#4  Self-administered justice can be harsh.
Posted by: Richard of Oregon   2008-06-20 09:41  

#3  You're absolutely right, Charles. It was the gun's fault. It should have guessed this kid was as scared as the homeowner, had a twitchy trigger finger, and should have had a 10 pound trigger pull so that he wouldn't stupidly blow his own guts out. Time to collect.
Posted by: Woozle Elmeter 2700   2008-06-20 09:35  

#2  I bet his parents sue the gun manufacture for having a faulty product. Though I would say it worked just fine.
Posted by: Charles   2008-06-20 09:05  

#1  The Tarrant County Medical Examiner has ruled the death an accident.

The transport of, entry with, and drawing of the gun were all premeditated. It was no accident. Qualifies as a case of terminal cranial rectal insertion or substandard NO-GO training, but not an accident.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2008-06-20 08:37  

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