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-Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
Your handy guide to the aliens among us
2008-06-19
h/t Lileks. Cover yer heads with tinfoil, lads, and get ready for the ride of your life!

Since the age of 12, I have had an intense interest in the subject of UFOlogy, which was sparked after reading Frank EdwardsÂ’ book FLYING SAUCERS, SERIOUS BUSINESS. This led to an interest in the investigation of subsurface anomalies, followed by a still later fascination with conspiracy research . . . . I will refrain from explaining how I came to the following conclusions, as I can't explain my thinking either there are some mysteries even psychiatry can't yet solve it would take an entire volume to list the various sources of information that IÂ’ve encountered in the past 22 years. . . . I will state however that it is my "delusion" "opinion" that there are 3 "general" alien forces at work in this center of the universe. Each of these groups can be divided into sub-groups and so on, yet I will not deal with these aspects at this time.

These groupings include:

* THE UNITED FEDERATION

- This has been referred to by different titles. Originally having its genesis in an ancient Lyran (Vegan) alliance with the Murians and Gobians of Terra . . . Mostly of human heritage, the "Federation" adheres to a strict nonintervention policy. Federation personnel apparently contacted William Shatner in the Mojave desert years before he became famous for his part in the STAR TREK series, and certain ideas from real life turned up in the "inspired" television series. . . .

Even the STARFLEET base was fairly close - the actual Starfleet base is not in San Francisco but below the Panamint Mt. - Death Valley region to the east. This "Starfleet" does not exist a few thousand years in the future as the series suggests, but actually began about 3000 years ago when the MU-rians of ancient California
I lived in a dorm in the 1970s with the kids from the Interdisciplinary Studies program--I think I met some of them California MU-rians! They smoked a lot and used words like "dude" and "bummer" and "bogart the stash."
[apparently in alliance with other civilizations that were advanced in astronomy, mathematics, medicine, architecture, etc., such as the Greeks, Egyptians, Mayas, and East Indians] developed aerial and space technology. . . . Some [American] Intelligence agencies such as the NavyÂ’s "COM-12" are allied with these "Benevolent Ones" of the Federation, whereas other [Bavarian] Intelligence agencies such as the CIA-NSA "AQUARIUS" group maintains a pact with and is even largely under the control of the Reptilian Gray Empire Collective. MJ-12 seems to be vacillating between the two extremes, and may in fact be a battleground between:
* the American Constitutionals [working with the NonInterventionist Humanoids] and
* the Bavarian Globalists [working for the Interventionist Reptilioids].
Interventionist Reptilloids? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

* THE DRACONIAN EMPIRE

- Originally stemming from an ancient Alpha Draconian Antarctican (Terran) Empire of non-humanoids, the Draconian Empire is made up of several reptilian species including the winged draco (pterosaurians, "mothmen", or winged serpents); the tall Reptilioids who control various smaller reptilian "gray" species which reproduce via polyembryony, egg hatcheries and/or cloning; a particularly malevolent iguana-like dark-skinned sorcerer-priest class that is often seen wearing hooded robes and stands about 5 ft. tall;
(In my grade school, we called them "nuns." They used to rap our knuckles with wooden rulers. Good teachers, but strict! Oh, they were strict!)
and a shorter 4-5 ft. tall race of reptilian-amphibians that have been described as appearing like Rosie O'Donnell, only cuter "frog faced lizards".

Often a Nordic (mind-slave) is seen in the company of several of these "Reptoids" (for lack of a better word) especially during breeding experiments with human abductees. . . . Most Reptilian species have a track record of being Interventionist-imperialist oriented and have shown little if any regard for human life.

* THE ASHTAR - BAVARIAN COMMAND
- The following systems are either areas that are independent, non-aligned to the United Federation or the Draconian Empire, areas of collaboration and/or warfare between Humanoid and Reptilioid forces, or members of the Ashtar Command-Collective and for the Bavarian (Alt. 003) Imperialist Space Forces. The Alternative 003 [Bavarian] Space Forces, in alliance with other Imperialistic humanoid and reptiloid species, have - within the last few decades of their interstellar travel capabilities - already become notorious throughout this sector of the galaxy for their Nazi-like atrocities against the peaceful inhabitants of other worlds. This is according to one couple who defected from the "Alternative 003" crowd (which is made up mostly of super-rich Military-industrialist families) after friendly Federation personnel contacted them and told them what the A3Â’s were really up to. . . . Richard Shaver referred to them as the "Vermin from Space." They are vampirial in nature and feed-off the human life-force which manifests itself through the human spirit (emotions), the human soul (thoughts), and human blood (plasma)! . . .
OMG! It's MoveOn.org!

Like the Energizer Bunny, he just keeps going . . . and going . . . and going from there. Apparently, the shapeshifting lizards (or is it the Bavarian vampires, he's not really clear) are Freemasons, and they control the Pope and Mitt Romney and have laid out the street grid of Washington D.C. in the shape of a Satanic pentagram and . . . well, you get the picture. Did you know that UFOs are visiting the Capitol building? (It would explain a lot about Dennis Kucinich, I suppose.)

Crazy as it is, it could be worse. He never mentions Israel or AIPAC . . . unlike some other crackpot websites I could mention.
Posted by:Mike

#18  In fact, way back when the UFO fad started, Kenneth Arnold didn't report seeing flying disks. The term 'flying saucer' was coined by the media from his description of how the triangular objects he saw flew - like saucers skipping over the water.

Yah, I always kinda suspected that saucer-shaped objects sightings were either hoaxes or aliens playing with the earthling's minds by making vehicles that we "expect" to be alien "flying saucers."
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2008-06-19 23:12  

#17  Redneck Jim, Yup, aerodynamically the straight saucer design sucks - it can only be made to work with configurable wing surfaces.

In fact, way back when the UFO fad started, Kenneth Arnold didn't report seeing flying disks. The term "flying saucer" was coined by the media from his description of how the triangular objects he saw flew - like saucers skipping over the water.

Lots of UFOs are triangular, v-shaped, or cigar shaped. A few are spherical. Very, very few are actually shaped like a couple of dinner plates pressed together (though I'd like to see a study of how they might fly if the control surface were configurable).

Posted by: FOTSGreg   2008-06-19 22:44  

#16  lil slip of the veil: my middle name is Edward. I'd suggest a jaundiced eye by anyone reading anything by Frank Edward, including anything by me :-)
Posted by: Frank G   2008-06-19 22:39  

#15  ...Frank EdwardsÂ’ book FLYING SAUCERS, SERIOUS BUSINESS..

I have several Frank Edwards books. Love 'em. They make really gripping reading on a gloomy day. Full of hooey, though.
Posted by: Angie Schultz   2008-06-19 22:30  

#14  Seriously. the saucer shape is a damned poor design, aerodynamics suck, and the best design for interstellar travel would be a sphere, or massive cylinder that rotates for internal pseudo-gravity.

A rotating disc has all kinds of centrifugal and dynamic undesirable side effects. It's unstable.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2008-06-19 22:23  

#13  Seriously. the saucer shape is a damned poor design, aerodynamics suck, and the best design for interstellar travel would be a sphere, or massive cylinder that rotates for internal pseudo-gravity.

A rotating disc has all kinds of centrifugal and dynamic undesirable side effects.
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2008-06-19 22:20  

#12  I prefer SOLYENT BIG MAC-HAPPY, TIME-TRAVELING, TWEENAGE- AND STAR UNIVERSITY SPRING BREAK DELINQUENTS, TOURISTS, + SPACE MARXIST PROFS FROM EARTH'S FUTURE MYSELF!
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2008-06-19 20:49  

#11  Sheesh. I thought it was going to tell me about the Mex drywallers, plumbers, day laborers, etc., that I could find hanging out in the parking lot of the local Home Depot.

Wonder if the Reptilioids do lawns?
Posted by: Thaimble Scourge of the Pixies4707   2008-06-19 18:57  

#10  This guy is probably a lot less dangerous than Obama's team of national security advisers.
Posted by: Darrell   2008-06-19 18:42  

#9  Don't forget the Daleks.
Posted by: Korora   2008-06-19 18:27  

#8  Don't worry, the Time Cube will protect us against any hideous alien invader:

http://timecube.com/

And if that doesn't work, then maybe J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs or Gamera the Flying Turtle.


Too bad I destroyed the time cube with assistance from Archimedes Plutonium, who I then shipped off to the habitable Venus with Brad Guth, before finally moving it to the orbit of the Moon...
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2008-06-19 14:32  

#7  silly tinfoil hat guy. everybody knows that all the lizardoids hang out at LGF...
Posted by: Querent   2008-06-19 13:10  

#6  Do all of these humanoids, reptilloids, and vapirals have green cards? Or are they . . . (gasp!) . . . illegal aliens?
Posted by: Mike   2008-06-19 13:04  

#5  The Masari! Don't forget the Masari! They'll even pick tomatoes for ya!
Posted by: swksvolFF   2008-06-19 12:21  

#4  Don't worry, the Time Cube will protect us against any hideous alien invader:

http://timecube.com/

And if that doesn't work, then maybe J.R. "Bob" Dobbs or Gamera the Flying Turtle.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2008-06-19 10:25  

#3  The same alt.conspiracy Verizon is trying to suppress?
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman   2008-06-19 09:55  

#2  There was a Usenet forum some time back, alt.conspiracy, that had lots of stuff like this. A fair bit of it was freaking hilarious; the writers clearly were talented and just as clearly unhinged.
Posted by: Steve White   2008-06-19 09:24  

#1  I guess I won't worry about the Ides of 2014 after all.

I'm heading for the Muck4Phone and calling for an expert in this field.
Posted by: Oracle Jones   2008-06-19 09:08  

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