You have commented 339 times on Rantburg.

Your Name
Your e-mail (optional)
Website (optional)
My Original Nic        Pic-a-Nic        Sorry. Comments have been closed on this article.
Bold Italic Underline Strike Bullet Blockquote Small Big Link Squish Foto Photo
-Lurid Crime Tales-
Australian Politician Denies Innapropriate Behaviour With Quokka
2008-05-14
WEST Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell says there is "absolutely no substance" to reports he once did something inappropriate to a quokka.
"You pronged a quokka?"
"No, no! Of course not! It was another kind of wallaby."
But he said he had heard people mention the word "quokka" then start laughing.
"Arf! Arf! Arf! Hid the baloney with a quokka! [Snicker!]"
Mr Buswell, who has admitted to sniffing the chair of a former Liberal party colleague and snapping the bra of a Labor staffer, was questioned on the rumours today at a press conference at Parliament House.
"Mr. Opposition Leader! Wuz it a male quokka or a female quokka?"
"Mr. Opposition Leader! Did you sniff the wallaby's chair, too?"
"What color bra does a quokka wear, Mr. Opposition Leader?"
It followed his move yesterday to sack Paul Omodei from the front bench after the former leader said recently there would be "more stories" to emerge about Mr Buswell and that his leadership would "die the death of a thousand cuts".
"Oh, wait'll you hear the one about Mr. Opposition Speaker, the circus midget, and the platypus!"
Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: "No".
"Depends on yer definition of 'inappropriate,' of course, but neither of us thought it wuz inappropriate!"
Asked if he was aware of any rumours about actions involving the small marsupials, which are indigenous to Rottnest Island off Perth, Mr Buswell said: "I have absolutely no idea about these stories of quokkas on Rottnest. I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people.
"Though I'm not sure why you'd be offended by me sniffing yer chair if you're not sitting in it at the moment..."
"I don't shy away away from that at all, but I'm not aware that I've caused any offence to a quokka."
"Matter of fact, it seemed quite pleased by the experience!"
Posted by:phil_b

#6  A "robust past"? That one is new to me, and impressively it doesn't contain any naughty words! ;-)
Posted by: trailing wife    2008-05-14 13:50  

#5  it's a quagga-mire!
Posted by: Querent   2008-05-14 13:42  

#4   Sounds like the story of Lyndon Johnson when he ran for Congress, legend says, he wanted to spread the rumor that his opponent was a pig-f*cker. Johnson's campaign manager said, "Lyndon, you know he doesn't do that!" Johnson replied, "I know. I just want to make him deny it."
Posted by: tipper   2008-05-14 10:49  

#3  No, no, no! It was a quagga. Wikipedia notes there is some confusion.
Posted by: Angie Schultz   2008-05-14 09:08  

#2  I like this pic
Posted by: ed   2008-05-14 08:55  

#1  Buswell and Richard Gere should get together and compare notes.
Posted by: ed   2008-05-14 08:54  

00:00