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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Pinko Shitbird's Flying Capitalist Pig Found |
| 2008-05-01 |
| Sad news today from the world of washed up hasbeen rock stars... LA QUINTA - Coachella festival organizers identified the remains of musician Roger Waters' massive, inflatable "capitalist" pig Tuesday at La Quinta's upscale Hideaway Golf Club. Capitalist Pig found dead in Capitalist Citadel. Film at eleven... The helium-filled, school-bus-sized pig had unexpectedly escaped the Empire Polo Club field during Waters' set on Sunday. For its recovery, organizers offered a $10,000 reward and four Coachella tickets for life. What's second prize, eight Coachella tickets for life? "That's definitely our pig," Coachella producer Bill Fold said. I guess that is his real name... Sadly, now it looks more like pulled pork: crumpled heaps of shredded, spray-painted plastic. Omen? Sign? Portent? Weather? The flyaway pig story grabbed headlines on news sites and music blogs around the country. As reported Tuesday at mydesert.com, two Hideaway couples each discovered a half of the deflated pig the morning after its ill-fated journey through the desert sky. Fold said it initially drifted as far north as Highway 111 before blowing back south as it ascended. Surprised they didn't get AWACS up... The two couples will split the cash reward and each pair will get four Coachella tickets for life, Fold said. They'll also receive all-access passes to this weekend's Stagecoach music festival. Well, sell my clothes, I've gone to heaven... The pig has been a trademark concert prop for Waters and his former Pink Floyd bandmates since 1977, when they released the capitalism critique "Animals." Waters was playing a song from the album Sunday when the swine escaped. Donated all the profits from "Animals" to charity did ya , Roger? "Interesting he'd land in a country club," said Susan Stoltz, who found the plastic pig heap in her driveway. She had no idea what it was until she read Tuesday's Desert Sun. Glad I'm not the only one to pick up on that... Believe it or not, Stoltz said she was wearing a Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here" T-shirt as she read the paper and realized what she had. "If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'," Stoltz said with a southern twang. I thought I was having flashbacks... Attempts to reach a spokesperson for Waters were unsuccessful on Tuesday, but Fold said "he's probably a little bummed." Why, is he outta dope? Organizers are investigating how Waters' pig managed to escape. Festival staff held it above the crowd with lines, similar to floats in the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Fold said. So far, it's unclear who let it go. My bet is...Cheney. Concertgoers shined lights at the swine until it disappeared from sight, Fold said. If it was a hip hop concert, they probably could've shot it down. It displayed the words "Don't be led to the slaughter" and a cartoon of Uncle Sam wielding two bloody cleavers. The other side read "Fear builds walls." The underside of the pig simply read "Obama" with a checked ballot box alongside, referring to U.S. Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill. Omen? Sign? Portent? Weather? The pig was too damaged after its flight to decipher any of the designs or slogans. Look away! It's, like, hideous! When Coachella organizers posted a message about the disappearance and reward on the festival's Web site, they received about 100 "condolence" e-mails for the lost pig from music fans, Fold said. Like, I'm sorry ya lost yer pig, man. Like...what was I sayin? Hideaway resident Judy Rimmer suspected Coachella concertgoers of a prank when she found half of the pig draped over a front-yard plant. "I had no clue what it was," Rimmer said. "My kids are going to think I'm so cool," Susan Stoltz said. Who's Pink Floyd, mom? |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #3 #2 "Honey, there's a giant deflated pig in the driveway." ahhhhh.. the consequences of Rosie's downfall... |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-05-01 21:58 |
| #2 "Honey, there's a giant deflated pig in the driveway." "Ooooh! Mommy! Can we have bacon this morning?" |
| Posted by: Mike 2008-05-01 21:47 |
| #1 What's second prize, eight Coachella tickets for life? Har! That was precisely my thought when I read that. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2008-05-01 21:23 |