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Iraq
Her crime was to fall in love. She paid with her life
2008-04-27
Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, told her closest friend that she was in love from the moment she set eyes on the young British soldier working alongside her in Basra, and she dreamed of a future with him.

It was an innocent infatuation but five months after Rand, a student of English at Basra University, met Paul, a 22-year-old soldier posted to southern Iraq, she was dead. She was stamped on, suffocated and stabbed by her father. Several brutal knife wounds punctured her slender, bruised body - from her face to her feet. He had done it, he proclaimed to the neighbours who soon gathered round, to 'cleanse his honour'.

And as Rand was put into the ground, without ceremony, her uncles spat on her covered corpse because she had brought shame on the family. Her crime was the worst they could possibly imagine - she had fallen in love with a British soldier and dared to talk to him in public.

Rand was murdered last month. That the relationship was innocent was no defence. She had been seen conversing intimately with Paul. It was enough to condemn her, because he was British, a Christian, 'the invader', and the enemy. The two met while he was helping to deliver relief aid to displaced families in the city and she was working as a volunteer. They continued to meet through their relief work in the following months.

Rand last saw Paul in January, two months before her death. It was only on 16 March that her father, Abdel-Qader Ali, learned of their friendship. He was told by a friend, who worked closely with police, that Rand had been seen with Paul at one of the places they both worked as volunteers. Enraged, he headed straight home to demand an explanation from his daughter.

'When he entered the house, his eyes were bloodshot and he was trembling,' said Rand's mother, Leila Hussein, tears streaming down her face as she recalled her daughter's murder. 'I got worried and tried to speak to him but he headed straight for our daughter's room and he started to yell at her.'

'He asked if it was true that she was having an affair with a British soldier. She started to cry. She was nervous and desperate. He got hold of her hair and started thumping her again and again.

'I screamed and called out for her two brothers so they could get their father away from her. But when he told them the reason, instead of saving her they helped him end her life,' she said.

She said Ali used his feet to press down hard on his own daughter's throat until she was suffocated. Then he called for a knife and began to cut at her body. All the time he was calling out that his honour was being cleansed.

'I just couldn't stand it. I fainted.' recalled Leila. 'I woke up in a blur later with dozens of neighbours at home and the local police.'

According to Leila, her husband was initially arrested. 'But he was released two hours later because it was an "honour killing". And, unfortunately, that is something to be proud of for any Iraqi man.'

At the police station where the father was held Sergeant Ali Jabbar told The Observer last week: 'Not much can be done when we have an "honour killing" case. You are in a Muslim society and women should live under religious laws.

'The father has very good contacts inside the Basra government and it wasn't hard for him to be released and what he did to be forgotten. Sorry but I cannot say more about the case.'

Rand, considered impure, was given only a simple burial. To show their repugnance at her alleged crime, her family cancelled the traditional mourner ceremony.

Two weeks after the murder, Leila left Ali. She could no longer bear to live under the same roof as her daughter's killer and asked for a divorce. 'I was beaten and had my arm broken by him,' she said. 'No man can accept being left by a woman in Iraq. But I would prefer to be killed than sleep in the same bed with a man who was able to do what he did to his own daughter, who, over the years, had only given him unconditional love.'

Now she works for a women's organisation campaigning against honour killings. 'I just want to try to stop other girls having the same fate as my beloved Rand,' said Leila who is forced to move regularly from friend to friend

A colleague of Leila's said: 'We prefer to change places each two weeks to prevent targeting. She has been threatened again by her husband's family and is very scared.'

Throughout her friendship with Paul, Rand confided in only one person, her best friend Zeinab, 19. 'She used to say that her charity work had more than one meaning now. From the first time she saw him, she was helping needy families but also that Paul was helping her. With just a simple, caring smile, he was able to give her the sense of love, making her forget all about the hard and depressing life in Iraq,' said Zeinab.

The two teenagers had spent hours talking about him,' she said. 'She loved to speak about his blond hair, his honey eyes, his white skin and the sweet way he had of speaking.

'He was very different from the local men who usually are tough and illiterate. I was in heaven when she was speaking about him. Everything looked so beautiful.

'But, I always had to remind Rand that she was a Muslim and her family was never going to accept her marrying a Christian, British soldier'.

'Unfortunately she never wanted to hear me. Her mind was very far from reality, but closer to an impossible dream.'

Paul gave Rand gifts. She kept them - and him - secret from her family and asked Zeinab to take care of these small tokens of his affection for her. He gave her a charming cuddly animal. 'She couldn't take it home so she asked me to keep it for her,' said Zeinab. 'It's hard to look at it every day,' she said.

Rand told Zeinab she and Paul had met only four times, though Zeinab doubts this. Their meetings were always in public and through the voluntary work that Paul carried out as part of his regiment's peacekeeping duties.

Rand had an excellent command of English and spoke it fluently and that, said Zeinab, allowed them to communicate freely without others around understanding what they were saying. 'She was the only one who could speak English and it made it easier for her to get closer "through words" to him,' she said.

Soon Rand began giving different and elaborate excuses to her family to enable her to continue her voluntary work. She persuaded her father that her work was vital in helping families. And she began paying daily visits to displacement camps, local aid agencies and hospitals in the hope of bumping into Paul.

'He used to tell her all about England. She told me his father had died from a disease and that it was a really sad story,' said Zeinab.

'She liked to speak about how couples could live together in his country. He told her that flowers could be found on every corner and he promised to take her one day to buy some in the streets of London. She was a fan of London and he told her about all the tourists attractions there.'

'But the thing she used to like talking about best was how he praised her beauty and her intelligence. She told me he called her "princess".'

Despite knowing how dangerous the consequences of her actions could be, and the punishment she faced if caught, her passion for Paul grew stronger, said Zeinab. 'She never did anything more than talk to him. She was proud to be a virgin and had a dream to give herself to the man she loved only after her marriage. But she was seen as an animal,' said Zeinab.

'What they did to her was ugly and pathetic. Rand was just a young girl with romantic dreams. She always kept her religion close to her heart. She would never even hurt a petal on a rose.'

Last year 133 women were killed in Basra - 47 of them for so-called 'honour killings', according to the Basra Security Committee. Out of those 47 cases there have been only three convictions for murder.

Since January this year, 36 women have been killed.
Posted by:john frum

#12  Is there absolutely no hope of getting some laws through the new government to curb this $hit?
Posted by: gorb   2008-04-27 22:04  

#11  This is the face of Islam. The face the MSM and CAIR don't want you to see. Intolerance, hate and subjugation. The faster its power is broken, the better. One way is to make sure the youth of the Islamic world sees this story and its counterpart (and happy non-dead ending) from the west.
Posted by: DarthVader   2008-04-27 21:32  

#10  I am, Muggsy G- although everyone who clicks on the link or goes to one of my book signings and buys my book makes my economic postion all that much better.
One of my late employer's clients hired me to do marketing for his business - and I am working like a dog to finish and polish my new book(s) the Adelsverien Trilogy to be available by 2008.

This story makes me so sad, though - as the mother of a daughter and as a woman who fell in love with another member of the services. My parents liked him and thought he would do well as a prospective SIL. So sad to think that by the rules of this culture, they would have been justified in killing me, him and by extension, my daughter.
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2008-04-27 21:23  

#9  This article reminds me of the SAID girls, etc. -they were just babies at PENN STATE.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2008-04-27 20:43  

#8  what vicious monsters to be able to kill your own daughter and sister in this way.
Thaimble Scourge of the Pixies4707, well said.
Posted by: Jan   2008-04-27 20:43  

#7  Hope you are doing OK, Sgt. Mom. :)
Posted by: Muggsy Gling   2008-04-27 20:25  

#6  This is why we fight.
Posted by: Sninert Black9312   2008-04-27 20:17  

#5  I like Anonymoose's suggestion, actually. Back in the days of the frontier, it was the women of the warrier tribes like the Comanche who were most especially notorious for the inventive way they had of torturing captives.

It would be nice, in the way of cultural sharing n' caring to put the women of Iraq in touch with women of the Amerind Tribes who have knowlege of their traditions... wouldn't it?

We hear so much about honoring tradtional cultural ways... would't it be keen to pass some of those on?

Especially those which have to do with sharp knives.
Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2008-04-27 20:12  

#4  I still have not figured out this islamic-honor thing.

The father is "responsible" for the actions of his daughter. Since the father messed up and raised an infidel for a daughter, it's the father's fault and he should kill himself. That's the definition of honor deaths in Japan.

In islam it's always somebody else's fault.
Posted by: anymouse   2008-04-27 20:08  

#3  he has no honor, and apparently (from the earlier abuse) never did.

*spit*
Posted by: Frank G   2008-04-27 17:55  

#2  The repugnance I feel when reading this story is palpable. It's after I read things like this that I'm ready to see nukes used on this sick, insane excuse for a civilization. People who could do, and support, actions like this simply don't deserve to be treated as human.
Posted by: Thaimble Scourge of the Pixies4707   2008-04-27 17:34  

#1  I suggest that a woman's secret society be formed to punish men responsible for such murder. A gang of women catches one, then cuts off his genitalia and facial lips.

Such men are inherently cowardly dogs, and the men that support such honor killings are equally cowardly. If they fear a risk to themselves, they will stop being brutes.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2008-04-27 17:31  

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