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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Mardi Gras or Katrina Stress Syndrome? You Make the Call |
| 2008-02-07 |
| I blame Bush... A Covington woman was attacked Monday morning by a New Orleans man dressed in Carnival garb that she met through the Internet, Covington police said Tuesday. Lawrence Goldstein, 40, 1020 St. Claude Ave., New Orleans, was booked Monday with attempted rape, false imprisonment and possession of nitrous oxide, which is classified a dangerous substance, police said. Sometimes known as laughing gas, the chemical was used by Goldstein in an attempt to lower the victims defenses, authorities said. What's that big tank? Ooooh...nothing. Goldstein called the 24-year-old Covington resident early Monday morning and told her that he had too many guests at his residence and asked if he could sleep at her place, Covington police spokesman Lt. Jack West said. Ummmmm...okay. Sure. What bad stuff could happen, right? The woman, who was house-sitting and had a six-month-old baby with her, told him he could come over but only to sleep, West said. Goldstein arrived at the apartment in a purple top hat, a large purple cape and a purple satin shirt, West said. His upper body was covered in pink body paint and glitter, West said. Most folks might take this as their first hint that...something is amiss. The victim told police that Goldstein forced her to inhale nitrous oxide and smoke marijuana with him, West said. At that point he became aggressive and attacked her, ripping off some of her clothing, West said. The woman fought off Goldstein's attacks and ran outside, where she was able to call police on a cell phone, West said. The woman left the baby inside as she ran out, but the child was unharmed, he said. The woman's call to police came in at 3:30 a.m. Unless you're in your own bed, nuthin good happens at 3:30AM... When officers arrived, they found Goldstein in the residence wearing only trousers and body paint and with a bag full of whips, chains, a sex toy and handcuffs, West said. The officers also discovered a canister the victim said contained nitrous oxide. I think Larry had come to parrrrrtay... She told police that they had smoked all of Goldstein's marijuana, West said. No more weed!? Scram, ya bum! West said the officer on the scene told him, "I opened the door and this Oompa-Loompa is standing there," referring to the brightly-colored characters from "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Slap the bracelets on him and read the Oompa-Loompa his rights, Muldoon... While searching the mans car, they discovered its trunk was packed with hay and contained two hula hoops and another whip, West said. Oh...well. Maybe he's a lion tamer or...sumthin? The woman told police she met Goldstein after posting classified ad selling a baby stroller on a Web site. She began chatting online with the man but told police that she did not give him her phone number or address at the time, West said. Police are still investigating how Goldstein obtained the woman's phone number. My guess? Psychic Oompa-Loompa powers... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #8 A balloon-inflating type cannister, or the little whip-its? A beach ball isn't needed for the latter, and they're small enough to slip into a pocket (see, I'm not totally ignorant of such matters!) |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2008-02-07 22:34 |
| #7 Oh, and did she have a beachball outside with her. |
| Posted by: 3dc 2008-02-07 21:08 |
| #6 and #4 :) |
| Posted by: RD 2008-02-07 21:07 |
| #5 West said the officer on the scene told him, "I opened the door and this Oompa-Loompa is standing there," Lmao! Oompa-Loompa YJCMTSU! LOL! # 1,2,3 this whole thread is a real HOOT! my cheeks hurtz! /not those cheeks! |
| Posted by: RD 2008-02-07 21:06 |
| #4 What size and color beach balls did he have for inflating with Nitrous? Did they match his outfit? Did the police keep them? (beach balls are lower pressure so safer for the lungs. about 1 equals a dose) Oh and did he have a "special" gas welders license? |
| Posted by: 3dc 2008-02-07 21:06 |
| #3 Sounds like a bad circus act gone wrong when the weed was gone. By the way: hula hoops? hay? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2008-02-07 20:44 |
| #2 its trunk was packed with hay and contained two hula hoops and another whip You'll get 10 years for the attempted rape Lawrence, but they'll add another 20 for practicing animal husbandry without a license in Louisiana. |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2008-02-07 19:48 |
| #1 When Mardi Gras meets Blue Velvet. (Lynch's initial idea was to have Frank Booth doing helium for his "Mommy--baby wants blue velvet" thang. I understand it was Dennis Hopper who persuaded him to go with the laughing gas idea.) |
| Posted by: eLarson 2008-02-07 16:52 |