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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| After a Window WasherÂ’s 47-Floor Plunge, the Big Question Is: How Did He Survive? |
| 2007-12-12 |
 By JAMES BARRON and AL BAKERA 29-year-old man plunges 17 stories in the atrium of a hotel in Minneapolis, landing on an overhang. A 22-year-old amateur sky diver goes into free fall more than a mile above the earth when his main parachute and reserve chute fail to open. He lands in a three-foot-deep duck pond. |
| Posted by:anonymous5089 |
| #15 "Blood on the Risers" He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright He checked all his equipment and made sure his pack was tight; He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar, "You ain't gonna jump no more!" (CHORUS) Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more! "Is everybody happy?" cried the Sergeant looking up, Our Hero feebly answered "Yes," and then they stood him up;'' He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked, And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock, He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop, The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs, And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome, Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones; The canopy became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground. And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind, He thought about the girl back home, the one he'd left behind; He thought about the medicos and wondered what they'd find, And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild, The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled, For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed, And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) He hit the ground, the sound was "Splatt," his blood went spurting high, His comrades then were heard to say: "A helluva way to die!" He lay there rolling round in the welter of his gore, And he ain't gonna jump no more. (CHORUS) There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the chute, Intestines were a'dangling from his Paratrooper suit, He was a mess; they picked him up, and poured him from his boots, And he ain't gonna jump no more (CHORUS — slowly, solemnly) Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die, He ain't gonna jump no more! Airborne! |
| Posted by: Steve 2007-12-12 20:59 |
| #14 It is important to remember the tale of the man named "Tougher than Airborne". He was going through the Airborne school at Ft. Benning, when he had both a primary and reserve chute failure. Everybody saw him plummet to Earth, and all the black hat instructors and emergency personnel went out to where he had landed. He actually left most of a full body indentation in the ground, and as they reached him, he rolled over onto his back. Blood was running out both nostrils. He opened his eyes and said to them: "If this Airborne shit gets any harder, I don't think I'm going to make it." Then he passed out. He woke up wearing his wings, and for the rest of his military career was immortalized as "Tougher than Airborne". |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-12-12 19:50 |
| #13 Creck Untervehr1539 = RD |
| Posted by: RD 2007-12-12 18:47 |
| #12 Damn Deacon, ugg oh ow oh no...uhnnnnnn my bod is groaning all over! /~:) |
| Posted by: Creck Untervehr1539 2007-12-12 18:46 |
| #11 It 'aint the fall that gets you, it's that sudden stop at the botom (W, C, Fields, I think) |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2007-12-12 18:28 |
| #10 Reminds me a a Reader's Digest story I read in the '50's (yes I am actually that damn old). Gunner on a bomber fell 18,000' without a parachute and lived - broken back but fairly minimal for the gravity debt involved. They think the major factor was that he went thru some fairly tall and heavy pine trees. |
| Posted by: Betty Thavirong2564 2007-12-12 15:20 |
| #9 There are lots of variables to falling. The most important is if it is a free fall, or if your way down in blocked en route, bouncing off of things, and slowing you down. The next most important thing is what you land on, as a tree or bush could act like a spring and absorb a lot of momentum. After that, is your position when you hit. There is a group of natives that regularly jump off of high waterfalls to land in only a foot or so of water. While falling, they look like they are praying, with their knees bent under themselves and their toes pointed down, with their hands together in front of them. They discovered that this posture is the best way of absorbing impact in those circumstances, without injury or with minimal injury. However, in other circumstances, landing spread eagled, face first, might result in *least* injury, though you will be injured, and *least* possibility of lethal internal injuries. But you will often have a broken nose, jaw, ribs, hips, knees and feet. But alive. Parachutists have noted the rather gruesome bit that when someone free falls from a high aircraft, often on the first bounce they momentarily look okay, even though they are thoroughly busted up inside, then with the second bounce, their body flies apart. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-12-12 13:44 |
| #8 You are charged with using an offensive spoonerism. You have an obligation to remain silent. Anything you do say will not be recorded. |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2007-12-12 13:04 |
| #7 *giggle* |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2007-12-12 12:39 |
| #6 *groan* |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2007-12-12 12:03 |
| #5 Reminds me of the story about the Window Washer who had himself cloned but the clone cussed constantly. One da, while working at the top of a building, the window Washer had enough and pushed the clone off. He was later chatged with making an obscene clone-fall. |
| Posted by: Deacon Blues 2007-12-12 11:58 |
| #4 The company has not returned calls since the accident, and Ms. Moreno said no one from City Wide had called her to express condolences. They probably don't speak Spanish. |
| Posted by: gromky 2007-12-12 11:04 |
| #3 Sounds like City Wide Window Cleaning of Jamaica may have some splaining to do. |
| Posted by: bigjim-ky 2007-12-12 10:49 |
| #2 Save the Window Washer! Save the World! |
| Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2007-12-12 10:32 |
| #1 Their guardian agnels got the "Employee of the Month" award. |
| Posted by: Mike 2007-12-12 09:26 |