November, 2004. Good times...good times...
AFP lays on a nice big slurpy one.
RAMALLAH, West Bank (AFP) - Palestinians on Sunday mark three years since the death of their legendary leader Yasser Arafat, split into separate entities and never more divided since the icon of unity passed away.
I figure lots and lots of "bullet wounds to the head" inflicted by "mysterious gunfire" stories in the Gaza papers on Monday in celebration of the magic day...
To mark the anniversary, a new mausoleum built over his grave at the Palestinian Authority leadership compound in Ramallah, together with a mosque and museum complex will be inaugurated on Saturday.
...as will the "Yasser Arafat Memorial Cesspool" in Gaza.
On the anniversary itself, Abbas will deliver a speech to thousands at an official remembrance ceremony at the Muqtada leadership compound.
No! I don't know where all the money went! Ask that fat bitch he was "married" to...
The Arafat Foundation, set up to preserve the Nobel peace laureate's legacy that Israel and the United States came to regard as an obstacle to peace, has supervised the building of the memorial complex. It is chaired by Nasser al-Qidwa, Arafat's nephew and the former Palestinian representative to the United Nations."The interest aroused in the current domestic political context by this project stems from the fact that Arafat was always a symbol of Palestinian unity™," Qidwa told AFP.
...and will always keep me in this lameass job until I die. Thanks, Uncle Yaz. I'll keep your scam going even in death...
Even Hamas, which routed the security services dominated by the Fatah party founded by Arafat and which vilifies Abbas, exalts the memory of the man, whose gargantuan shoes no Palestinian has been able to fill since his death.
Can you blame them? Do you know what those gargantuan shoes must smell like...
"As a figure, there is a consensus on Yasser Arafat's symbolic stature and ability to harness our national principles," Hamas spokesman Fawzi Barhum said in Gaza City.
Yeah? What might those be? Keep better books so you know where all the money goes next time?
"We hope the third anniversary of his passing will give national unity™ a new impetus. We are ready to take part in the commemorations if Fatah invites us," he added.
Fawzi, my brother! A message from Abbas! It says, "Bite my crank!"
In the run-up to the annivesary, official Palestinian television has been broadcasting songs glorifying Arafat. One regrets the man "with the big heart who departed and left us alone".
Awwwwwwww... somewhere, not in "Palestine", Suha Arafat drops her calculator. And weeps. But not for long...
Images of Arafat wearing his trademark black-and-white chequered keffiyeh headdress and excerpts of his speeches are relayed across the screen.
Next to Che t-shirts, a big favorite of leftists everywhere...
"The anniversary of the death of president Arafat takes on a particular flavour this year because the homeland is divided in two, the West Bank and Gaza," says Imad al-Asfar, head of programming at the channel."He was the only man capable of uniting the Palestinian people," he adds.
Well, then I guess you'll never be united, cuz he's fuckin dead...
The Arafat museum will exhibit his personal effects, items from his office, presents and documents, according to Qidwa.
The red binder? That lame Rachel Corrie painting her parents gave him? That big pile of paperwork that never got done? I wonder if he had those big bodyguards he used to gaze at with the big eyes killed and stuffed to keep him company in the afterlife?
A passage links the complex to the office where Arafat was holed up for nearly the last two years of his life, besieged by surrounding Israeli troops before being airlifted to hospital and dying in France aged 75.
So long, Yasser. Say hello to Hitler when you get there...
Arafat's tomb, guarded round the clock by members of the presidential guard, has become an obligatory rite of passage for foreign dignitaries who come to meet Abbas at the Muqtada.
I'm thinking lots of "gunshots to the feet" and "misuse of weapons"...
The precise cause of Arafat's death is still mysterious. Several Palestinian officials accused Israel of poisoning him. Medical officials have never managed to confirm the accusations.
Yeah! Jooooo cooties! That's the ticket! Not that...other stuff.