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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Sibu the orangutan prefers blondes
2007-10-05
SIBU the orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes.
"And big honkers!"
Apenheul Primate Park hoped Sibu would become its breeding male when he arrived two years ago, but orangutans aren't his type. "He chases them, or ignores them, but he doesn't do what he should do," said a spokeswoman for the park.
"Anything?"
"Not yet."
"The movies didn't help?"
Instead, Sibu fancies his female keepers, especially blondes.
... with large groodies.
That, the spokeswoman said, was common for orangutans but Sibu has a fetish for tattoos, harking back to a heavily tattooed keeper who reared him. "Orangutans have special interests in special subjects. Sibu happens to like tattoos," she said.
"Where's Sadie?"
"Down at the Motel 6 with Sibu."
"I hope she doesn't expect overtime for that!"
The park hasn't given up on Sibu, 31. He showed an amorous interest in a female orangutan while living in England and keepers hope he will find love when reunited with her in a new enclosure in Chester, England.
He'll be disappointed when he discovers those are falsies. And her tatoos peel off.
Posted by:Fred

#7  Iff I recall correctly, [Kids SHow & GET SMART Parody]LANCELOT LINK - SECRET CHIMP's chimp fatale' = lady sidekick wore a blonde? wig.
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2007-10-05 20:52  

#6  They're not really thinking outside the box. Get some peroxide, a competent tatooist, and a female orangutan and you can make Sibu's perfect mate.
Posted by: Rob Crawford   2007-10-05 18:14  

#5  SIBU the orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes.


High-Five, mah monkey brother from another mother!
Posted by: flash91   2007-10-05 13:39  

#4  Gentlemen prefer blondes therefore SIBU is a gentleman.
Posted by: JFM   2007-10-05 11:06  

#3  Send over Pamela Anderson. Given her taste in boyfriends, she couldn't go wrong.
Posted by: gorb   2007-10-05 05:33  

#2  My typing clearly suffered, because of the moral anguish.
Posted by: anonymous5089   2007-10-05 04:49  

#1  I blame the US adult movies industry, with its endless stream of breasts-enlarged, tattoed, and strategically shaved (false) blonde starlets.
Not only did they warp my fragiel mind, but they spolied the brain of that poor ape as well! Fiends!
Posted by: anonymous5089   2007-10-05 04:45  

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