 It doesn't get much stranger than this.
| It could but you'd have to try hard. |
A St. Paul man, complaining of chronic pain, wanted to have his testicles removed. When conventional medical staff refused to do the job, he hired other "professionals" to take off his testicles, according to a search warrant affidavit filed Monday in Ramsey County District Court.
| There are a few cases like this in the medical literature: people who are convinced that removing their testicles (or less commonly, their adrenal glands) will solve either their chronic pain or their 'self-image' problems. Usually they do the surgery themselves with local anesthetic and a mirror. |
Two or three people operated on the man, Russell Daniel Angus, 62, a couple weeks ago at his home in St. Paul. He was unconscious during the surgery, and when he woke up, his testicles had been removed.
"Doctor, the operation was a success!"
"It was indeed! Thank goodness I slept in a Holiday Inn last night!" |
And the "professionals" were gone.
| "No no, no need to thank me. Toodles!" |
His groin area was bleeding heavily, so he called his daughter.
"Dad! You WHAT?!?!"
"I'll explain later, but could you get over to the Holiday Inn real fast?" |
She called for help.
"Hello, 911? You're not going to believe this."
"Try us, lady, we hear all sorts of weird stuff."
"Someone removed my Dad's testicles, and he's bleeding heavily."
"Someone tries to remove my testicles and I guarantee you lady, he'll be bleeding heavily."
"No, that's not what I mean."
"Okay, you're right, I don't believe you." |
When police arrived, they found a makeshift operating room set up in the upper level of the Holiday Inn house. There were bright lights, an apparent operating table, medical supplies and equipment, and a camera.
| Sounds like the set of 'Saw 4'. |
Angus was still bleeding, and there was blood in the living room, hall and bathroom, the affidavit said.
| Just how many rooms did they operate in? |
He was taken to Regions Hospital. Since then, St. Paul police have been looking for the people behind the surgery, suspecting that it was an illegal medical procedure.
You don't say!
 | That's why they're police, you know. |
Only those licensed to practice medicine in Minnesota may perform a medical procedure here.
| Blasted politicans, always interfering, man just wants his family jewels pickled and put in a jar, but no-o-o-o-o-o, he's got to go to a regular quack for that. |
Angus wouldn't say who the mysterious practitioners were, telling police that he didn't want to get them into trouble.
| "All I asked them to do was pickle me jewels. That's not a crime, is it?" |
His soon to be ex wife, Anna Marie Angus, told police that her husband spends a lot of time on the Internet ...
| Golly gee, I hadn't associated pr0n downloads with a desire to remove one's testicles. |
... and uses a computer kept in a lower-level bedroom. She said he uses that room because he has limited mobility.
| "Especially now. He's kind of sore, you know?" |
The daughter told police that she didn't want them to search her father's house, the affidavit says.
"Look, it's okay, let's drop the whole thing, 'k?"
"Too late lady, you made the call." |
Police searched the home in the 600 block of York Avenue on July 28, looking for a list of items including blood, medical instruments, fingerprints, documents discussing medical procedures, computers, and testicles.
Court documents show they seized three specimen jars, medical supplies, a camera, a computer CPU, and other items.
"Hey Muldoon, check out this pic on the camera!"
"Oh geez, put that down, you'll go blind!" |
"Based on my knowledge and experience, I know that it is not common or usual for a licensed medical practitioner to perform surgery in the non-sterile environment of a private home," wrote Sgt. Richard Munoz, in court documents.
| Cut right to the heart of it. Nice going, Muldoon! |
"I also know that it would be highly unusual, unprofessional and likely negligent for a licensed medical practitioner to perform surgery and then leave a patient before the patient recovered from anesthesia and/or fail to provide immediate follow-up care."
| We usually stick around until the insurance forms are completed. |
St. Paul police spokesman Tom Walsh said he has seen a lot in his years on the force, but this case is remarkable. "I have never in my life seen anything quite like that."
| We can put his eyes out, he's now seen it all ... |
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